Happy Me

I don't love Martina McBride, but I do like several of her songs and own (one of my first cd purchases) her greatest hits album. This song is on it, and I must include my other favorite from that in this post as they seem a nice pair.

 Blessed (#8)

I get kissed by the sun each morning

Put my feet on a hardwood floor

I get to hear my children laughing

Down the hall through the bedroom door

Sometimes I sit on my front porch swing

Just soaking up the day

I think to myself, I think to myself

This world is a beautiful place

I have been blessed

And I feel like I've found my way

I thank God for all I've been given

At the end of every day

I have been blessed

With so much more than I deserve

To be here with the ones that love me

To love them so much it hurts

I have been blessed

Across a crowded room

I know you know what I'm thinking

By the way I look at you

And when we're lying in the quiet

And no words have to be said

I think to myself, I think to myself

This love is a beautiful gift

I have to go back a few years to describe why this song is so important to me.  After high school, I had the wonderful opportunity to live with my older brother and his family. I hadn't known my brother that well as he moved out of the house when I was 7 years old.  Although I'm sure it wasn't convenient, or always pleasant for them, it was the perfect situation for me to get to know him, as well as have some freedom to stretch my wings in a new city. The first few lines describe waking up the sound of children laughing. Late nights out with friends afforded me the great pleasure of being woken up each morning by one, or all, of his 5 children. Is there a more joyful sound than a child giggling? Those children, along with their mother and father, taught me so much about the love of family. I had so many answered prayers in that tiny basement room because of their love and concern over me.

In the present, I have now found a new kind of love with my husband. A love of encouragement, of patience, and pure enjoyment of the other. He can read me so well. Too well, that it's especially frustrating when he doesn't. I never understood (although found it wonderfully romantic) when people said they're not sure where they end and the other begins. But I do now. We are one, through the power of the atonement continually refining and binding us together. I am indeed so very blessed.

Happy Girl (#21)

I used to live in a darkened room

Had a face of stone

And a heart of gloom

Lost my hope, I was so far gone

Crying all my tears

With the curtains drawn

I didn't know until my soul broke free

I've got these angels watching over me

I used to hide in a party crowd

Bottled up inside

Feeling so left out

Standing in a corner wearing concrete shoes

With my frozen smile

And my lighted fuse

Now every time I start to feel like that

I roll my heart out like a welcome mat

Laugh when I feel like it

Cry when I feel like it

That's just how my life is

That's how it goes

I'm a happy girl

And I've come to know

That the world won't change

Just 'cause I complain

Oh watch me go

I'm a happy girl

Everybody knows

That the sweetest thing you'll ever see

In the whole wide world

Is a happy girl

This philosophy is still a work-in-progress. In middle school, and much of high school, I didn't smile. I felt like I didn't have a thing to smile about. Except for the gospel. I had a place at church with friends and encouraging leaders. It feels so good now to sing out that I've moved past that. That I was given a chance to start a new life of joy and peace, and happiness. I'd love to be able to erase that dark part and start over. But would I be where I am today without it? Would it spoil some vast eternal plan? I don't know. I know that the kind faces shine so much brighter to me in memory because of the backdrop.