Birthday

So, I had a birthday yesterday. One of those scary ones. But it turned out to be a really nice day.
First, we planned to go to the SLC children's museum with some family but then there was snow in the canyon that morning. So Hubby called from work to say we wern't going and did I want him to come home. Duh. So he first went to the store to buy the supplies for my CAKE. It's pretty awesome and he makes it for me every year (except last as I wouldn't have enjoyed it mid-pregnancy).  Ok, it's really awesome and he deserves best huband award for the hours it takes to create. Don't worry, it takes me at least as long to eat it, out of respect and out of pure enjoyment, stretching it out over a few weeks to enjoy it amazingness.
We watched Cars2, then went to Indian Oven for dinner (another annual, minus last year, favorite). Baby J had spinach soup and loved the complementary rice crackers and was a good sport about being kept up pas bedtime. Back home to put the Bubs to bed and open presents. My parents game me too many and great gifts, as usual. And, my sister with mad-gift-giving skills guessed right on my fav Bath &Body Works flavor.

Hmmm. Once a year is just right for a birthday.

Remembered

Who doesn't like to be remembered? I do. And I was. Thanks Jill.

Jill wrote a post about me and a yummy recipe that I shared with her.

Jill's a blogger. A real one. Well, not the giveaways-and-sponsors type of blogger, but she writes almost everyday and really opens up with her thoughts and feelings. I'd like to be more like that.
We had very good times together over a few months while I watched her kids. Or, rather, I watched other people watch her kids while we watched movies and I watched to make sure she didn't stop breathing in her sleep. Weird, I know. You can't buy friends like these. Nope, you just hope and pray that our difficulties will bring us together.
And I'm currently taking applications for more friends. Because Jill moved. Like 3 years ago.

News of the Autum Flavor!

So here is a little hutch we picked up at an antique store in Spanish Fork last week. Soon it will be a lovely country blue stain. I think.

And these are the varieties of specimen that I have bottled so far this year Left to Right:Whole tomatoes, halved peaches, Roasted Tomato Soup, pickled chile peppers, tomato sauce with aromatics, pear puree, and roasted totato puree. (missing apple puree and apple slices)
Yum! And so grateful for my kinds neighbors/friends/and family for the Lord's bounty this year!

Quoth me...three

If Zion could take on flesh, it would be Christ.
~Ethan

4 of us worked on the Quad. McKonkie, Ashton, Packer, and one other... oh, me.
~Pres Thomas S Monson

The family will reflect your personal turmoil if you are not seeking the Lord.

The beauty of the temple is in the sincerity of its worshipers.

The laughter of the world is just loneliness trying to reassure itself.
Broken hearts and broken homes are the results of broken covenants.
When I gave my will to the Father, I promised that I would obey. And I am free. Free of the world. And you can be free too.
~Neil A Maxwell

Boys, remember who you are and what you can become.
~Pres David O McKay


Because I have been given much
Because of thy life's mission Lord, I too must serve.
I'll leave the comfort of my home to tech thy word.
I'll see the sheep who've gone astray, and those who've never known the way.
I'll show that love by word and deed,
thus shall my thanks be thanks indeed.
~Denver Colorado Mission

I am saints for heaven and that makes a difference! I will go, I will do, the prophet told me to go and build a boat. I did it! I did it! The Lord commanded Nephi, fight the man. I did it! I did it!
~Andrew, while wearing a cheerio box on his head

He worketh in me to do according to His will.
Always put your trust in God, as it is not His work that is frustrated.
~Martin Harris

You can lose the cherry in the Shirley Temple by choosing not to repent and keep the commandments.
The worst thing you can do for your character is to feel the spirit and do nothing about it.
Unselfishness brings a ward closer together and closer to the Savior.
~Mark Tingey

Lord, use the fire in my heart to melt the lead in my feet.

We are not obedient because we are blind. We are obedient because we can see.
~M Russel Ballard

Don't run in the church, let the church run in you. Then you can walk in righteousness, and walk the strait and narrow.
~President Larsen

Remember that what binds us is stronger that what keeps us apart.

More quotes

More from my collection. ps-I cannot verify the validity of any of these quotes.


I feel a great burden being a member of the church, and yet, I'd rather feel it than not.
~Justin Cracroft

You can't go back to where you haven't been, you can't teach that which you don't know.

There is no danger of developing eyestrain from looking at the bright side of things.

There is a Book of Revelations in everyone's life. Everyday is a fresh start with no mistakes.
~Anne of Avonlea

If you want to give light to others, you first have to glow yourselves.
~Pres. Thomas S Monson

It's only a sacrifice if you give more than you get.
~Pres. Gordon B, Hinkley

Missionary work is the lifeblood of the Kingdom. When it stops flowing, the kingdom stops growing.
~Pres. Spencer W Kimball

We are not fighting for ourselves, we are fighting for the Savior.
~Elder Rex D Pinegar

When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes a quest, in that moment God with endow us with power.
~Pres. Ezra T Benson

Be loyal to the royal within you.
~ Pres. Harold B Lee

What we insistently desire, over time, is what we will eventually become and what we will eventually receive in Eternity.
~Elder Neil A Maxwell

When satan reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.
~Matt Huff

The field is white, step up to the plate.
~Matt Nelson

Sisters, you and your Christ-like attributes are what will get these investigators interested.
~Elder Kikuchi

When members and missionaries work together, baptisms can rise to whatever level the members want.
~Elder M Russel Ballard

Are you the kind of missionary your mother thinks you are?

Everything that is precious to me is mine be covenant.
~Kenton Allred

He's dying to know us. No, He died to know us. Love the Lord with all thy hear,t might, mind, and soul. When we do, the Lord is eager to bless us.
~Jason Ortiz

My heart rejoices until I can hardly remain earthbound.
If I could change anything about my life, I wish that I would pray more.
~Pres. Rhodes

Stretch seconds, magnify  moments.

That person is not truly converted until he sees the power of God resting upon the leaders if the church, until it goes into his hears like fire.
~ Pres. Harold B Lee

There are few people who are either too stupid or too dishonest that you can't learn something from everyone around you.

Always use the scriptures! My mom told me to never give a talk with at least one scripture.

I'm learning . . .

• to sleep on my back if I want a morning nap.

• to sleep when baby sleeps.

• to sit up straight when holding/cuddling/nursing/rocking/wearing babe so I don't get a sore back. 

• to enjoy afternoon/evening walks with E and baby.

• that being a momma brings up a whole slew of  issues that you thought were long since dead and grown out of.

• that the Little Man is in charge.

• that in order to produce nutrient-rich milk I need to eat and drink nourishing things.

• to check the diaper when he's fussy.

• that I. was. made. for. this. Bring it on.

• to respect and look forward to doctor visits (even the painful ones).

• how kind and willing to help people are during this time. 
• to plan something to do everyday. (Today it's to adapt a cookie-bar recipe to a drop-cookie recipe.)
• to let go of checking blogs, facebook, and email everyday.
• to hand baby/laundry/dinner over to E when I need a break.
• that while my labor was not perfect, it was beautiful, blessed, and an experience to build on. (interesting article on this subject here)
• how to tell my birth story without glazing over unpleasantness, freaking people out, nor bragging about doing most of my laboring at home without medication.
• the realities of cloth diapering and what really works for us.
• that  while I'm quite old to be a first time Mormon mommy, there are plenty of advantages in Joshua coming at this time for us.

What I'm still at odds with...

• Doing everything one-handed.
• Fixing myself lunch.
• Letting others hold baby.
• Getting a shower and myself ready daily.
• How to get cute pics worthy of his cuteness.
• Encouraging E to go to work rather than squander the whole day at home with us.

Any suggestions?

Wordless Saturday Afternoon

Hospital Visit

37 Weeks, 1 day

Last night was hard. Hard for me, my body, and the baby. Only not hard for Ethan. He's so optimistic sometimes it drives me crazy. But, in reality it kept me from going crazy.
 I had my appointment with my midwife in the early afternoon, after working a shift at Baby Animal Days (so fun). Last Thursday, we found that baby's head was engaged and I was dilated to a 4 (4 cm). So I rested over the weekend, but got busy Monday and Tuesday to get ready!
Tuesday's check was to see if there had been any progress. Not much, she just wanted to make sure that my water hadn't broken (a slow leak actually) and sent me to a family practitioner in town. A very, very good man, highly recommended, especially for natural birthing. Well, he did a few other checks and wasn't sure either, so he sent me to Labor & Delivery for a "Labor Evaluation".
Whaa?
When E got off work, we met up and I finally realized that this could be it. I knew my body wasn't ready (does a woman's own intuition count in medical/hormonal situations such as these?), but I was about to be 'put into the system'. Everything I didn't want and hadn't prepared for.  I was grateful for my 2 care providers working together to help me, I was just angry at the situation and my own un-preparedness for it.
Well, we got checked in and immediately hooked up to the monitors. Ugh. I now have personal experience and thus a personal hatred for the things. Laying reclined put serious pressure on my back that I've been working to avoid the last 6 months. Plus it cause me personal anxiety over my and my baby's condition. Not to mention the frenzied and brisk nurses...

But the Lord was watching over us. We were put in a room with huge windows looking out over the East mountains of North Logan. That was the view I had growing up, and most of my life since, and that helped me feel much more comfortable. About an hour later, the Elder's Quorum from our ward came to visit patients so we called them in and had a quick chat, them assisting E in giving me a Priesthood blessing. So nice to see someone we knew. The last tender mercy was our kind nurse. We met a few others and were v-e-r-y glad to have her. She was tentative and open, and asked my  permission before doing anything. The general tone in L&D was wary as they found out we we 'a home birth' (How does that describe us??). So I appreciated her demeanor so much.

Birth balls are awesome!

What we learned from this experience:

• Take a book/movie. We were there for 4 hours. The actual work done could have been done in under as hour.
• Move around as much as you can/desire. There is no reason you need to lay in the bed unless you want to, you are being checked, or you're on the monitor. That last one is even negotiable.
• Have a 'birth plan'. This does not need to be complicated. Even just 3 things you want and 3 things you don't. They ask you about it as you're getting settled so you can be on the same page from the very beginning.
• The rooms were not so bad, nor the husband snack parlor. Doesn't mean I could handle a birth there. Yes, honestly. People think we're brave for doing a home birth. The hospital scares us more.

On a brighter note, we had a quick ultrasound to check some things and saw a cute little face and a head of fine hair! The tech gave us the estimated weight at 6lbs, 15 oz., but still no gender. Everything turned out to be fine, and we got to come home. E was a great support and we are (ultimately) grateful for this 'practice run' for birthing.
Song #1 "Held" on the playlist will be the theme for today's post. Afterall, how can Christ be our 'Savior' if we never need 'saving'?

Thrifting for Baby

Honestly, I would.

Many people have asked what things we still need for the baby, so I'm posting it here. However, keep in mind, this is a list of things that we would like second-hand, used, and loved. First, to reduce our carbon footprint, and second because I love thrifting!

Some things to keep in mind:

• I will keep this list updated

• We do not need any of these things immediately, especially as we do not know if it will be a boy or a girl. Gender-neutral things are always welcome, even after we know.
• Please specify if you would like your item returned at any point
• I do not mind cleaning any items, you can gift them as-is. Although your baby's drool is less gross to you than it is to me.
• If we cannot use your item, we will find another place for it, and that place might be the DI. Please do not be offended.

Booster seat (for eating, not car)
Shoes-any size
Baby underwear/onesies
Baby hats
Crib/bassinet sheets
Waterproof sheet/pad for crib/bassinet
Swing gate for stairs
Cabinet locks
Wooden toys
Cloth diapers
Nursing tops/bras-any size
Changing pad/covers
Baby/children's books
Storage baskets
Nursing stool

P.S. My favorite color is purple, followed by green.
P.P.S. My favorite animal is the elephant.
P.P.P.S. Just thought you'd like to know ;-)

Ah, Hong Kong.

 So, I used to collect quotes. I ran across these in an old folder and wanted to preserve them here before tossing them. What beautiful memories. God be praised for His mercy and plan in sending me to China.

If you are ever called upon to chasten a person, never chasten beyond the balm you have within you to bind up. ~Brigham young

Yang Kekurangan dijadikan Cukup melalui Korban Tebusan Yesus Kristus.
Translation: That which is found lacking is made enough through the Atonement of Jesus Christ

View all things through the lenses of Eternity. ~James E. Faust

Our standards are not socially negotiable. ~Jeffery R. Holland

If you looked so much like the world, how would they find you? ~Neal A. Maxwell

To live and move among men, requires the heart to break . . . or harden. ~Maclane Strong

Living an inspirational life is more important than saying inspirational things ~Maclane Strong (oh the irony...)

Thick skin, soft heart. ~Maclane Strong

When the Lord commands, do it. ~Joseph Smith

If you love the Truth, you will remember it. ~Brigham Young

The devil thinks Mormonism died in Joseph. But the Gospel is in God, who never changes. ~Kyle Johnson

We will never be alone so long as we know how to pray. ~Joseph B. Wirthlin

When you save a girl, you save generations. ~Gordon B. Hinkley

They will love you , not because of who you are, but because of what you bring them. ~President Ong

I hope that things continue to remind you of the presence of your God and your calling to serve Him and His Son. Stay humble, and remember Whose time this is. ~Jake Weirman

I hope that you feel like you're a successful missionary, because you are.~Summer Hoogendorn

Footprints are not made by the leader that said, 'Go thither', but by the Leader that said, 'Come Follow Me'.


Even if the Gospel changes our lives, what good is it if it doesn't change us? ~Jessica Waters

It is the enemy who can truly teach us to practice the virtues of compassion and tolerance. ~Dalai Lama

Fear not. Consider the chickens. ~Kit Burton

The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. ~Chinese Proverb

They won’t remember what you said or did, but how you made them feel. ~Margaret Gnadt

The church in Aberdeen is far from the fish so it doesn’t smell bad. In fact, it’s a very nice church. ~Laura Bailey

Where is a Chinese person? ~Elder Matsamuri

I don’t try my best, I DO my best. ~Sister Ladesma

I was never given the chance to change until I met the missionaries and they taught me the Gospel of Jesus Christ. ~A Chinese convert

I have a remedy so you don’t have to move…we’ll drag down the sun! ~Sister Bautista

Repenting: When you stop seeking some things, and start seeking others. ~Hugh Nibley

Are you satisfied with your wound? He he, you’re laughing. He he. ~Chinese Doctor

By being fearless we see people’s lives change. ~Elder Hudson

What good is Eternity if a person can’t use a ½ hour? ~Elder Erickson

Consecration means that I'll give you my best hammer for your best loaf of bread. ~Maclane Strong

 Actually, the spirit calls me Ted. ~President Ong

I love the Chinese people because under their minds, they have a heart that is soft. ~Elder Julian

I’m glad my companion listened more to the spirit than to the conversation. ~Jake Wierman

Other than the Gospel is gossip. ~Sis Arandia

To share the Gospel in difficult circumstances means to treasure it even more. ~Richard G. Scott

So, is this sweater missionary appropriate?~Pres. Ong

Everything Christ does is an invitation. ~Elder Segars

Your faith must make up for their lack of faith. ~Tyler Whitlock

Your best becomes better everyday. ~Elder Strong

It is better to ruffle a few feathers than to deprive a friend of the knowledge and eternal life of the Gospel. ~Joseph Smith

Our responsibility is to help people have a spiritual experience. ~Satish Tewari

God only uses tools that are organized. ~Elder Hudson

My honor is intact because I have been striving for His. ~Elder Barson

Here is my Facebook Mission album if you'd like to see.

Baby

. . . and it shall remain "baby" until at very least I am holding him/her in my arms and we find out what his/her name will be.
It's been a while since I posted an update on my pregnancy. Well, this arrived today.

I really like it. It's big. Holds a newborn up to 100 lbs, so hopefully this will be the only seat we have to buy. Speaking of buying, I scored this baby for $100 off, making it essentially the same price as an infant-only seat from Walmart. And it is n-i-c-e. I wouldn't mind a washable cover with velvety black fabric and tons of positions through pillows and recline. Especially now as baby is waking me through the night to let me know that my body is no longer as comfortable as a La-Z-Boy...
We also have a (borrowed) bassinet set up in the baby room to move to our room when we bring baby home.

 

Also, my cousin gave us a beautiful crib to use as well, but we won't set that up until needed.

The plan now is to sew a few more things to get ready to little ELM's arrival and paint a wall in baby's room. But mostly continue to get mentally/physically/spiritually ready for labor. I'm so looking forward to it. My mind just meets up with a brick wall to imagine what actually comes after baby actually comes out.

1. Are we still excited? Yes! Like I said, from the reading and preparation I've done so far, I am dreaming of labor and how beautiful it's process will be.I'm excited to the experience to bring E and I closer, and to watch a miracle happen.
2. How do I feel? Still puking. But not as much anymore, since I learned to improve my diet in relation to what nutrients I need in what quantities, and also drinking LOTS of water. Well lots to me, and I haven't had any swelling/water retention at all! My stress level has definitely decreased since making the decision to switch care providers. Again, thanks to my sweet chiropractor to referring me to our current one.
   
3. When am I due? Like I said in the beginning, the doc kept changing her mind. From the first ultrasound (the most accurate) it'll be the first week of May. Please don't ask. I am not being induced unless I am VERY late. And I expect to go at least a week 'late' letting my body and baby get ready on their own.
   
4. What are my thoughts about delivery? Things have worked out themselves very well in this respect. We will be delivering with a midwife in a birthing center close to our home. It is such a calm, private place with a very competent midwife to assist us. That's the most  beautiful part, that this decision has been E and I's. We will be doing the laboring together.
   
5. Is it a Boy or Girl? Still a surprise! Only the ultrasound tech saw, and I doubt she remembers. Well, her and all of heaven. We've narrowed our name list down to about a dozen per gender. I expect we'll whittle it down by half still, then wait to meet the little one.
   
6. Total weight gain/loss? I'm officially back up to pre-pregnancy weight and still have several pounds to go over the next 2 months. E took this pic of my progression on the wii.

 

 After battling with my weight the last few years, it's quite surreal to be told to increase my caloric intake and gain 15 more pounds! It's been a gift of this pregnancy to finally see myself as beautiful. To not see food as an enemy, or as medication. But as something nourishing for babe, and for me, and that junk food is really trash, not what God gave us to maintain His creation.

That's it! 2 months and our lives change. It's like the death of the shuttle program, only opposite. The birth of something new and eternal.

Believing Christ

I have been rereading Believing Christ by Stephen E. Robinson over the last few months (I lost it for a while...) and while I'm not done I wanted to share a story from the book that, to me, best exemplifies the main principle of the book:

...many years ago I came into contact with a woman who was, initially at least, one of the roughest persons I have ever known. Abused as a child, she had run away from home and lived on the streets for years...[and] traveled around the country with a morotcycle gang. In late middle age, her beauty gone, she spent most of her time in a pub, where some missionaries met her when they went in to get change for a pay phone outside. When she was baptized, many of the members worried that her conversion wouldn't last, and there were good reasons to suspect that it might not.
For a long time after her baptism, this sister still swore...[and] never quite lived the word of wisdom one hundred percent. On one occasion during her first year in the Church, she lost her temper during a relief society meeting and punched out one of the other sisters...

Now the question before us is whether someone like this can seriously expect to be saved....
'Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow'...God does not lie. Whoever will come, may come. All are invited, none is excluded. Though this sister had further to travel than most, the same covenant was offered to her: "Do all you can. I will do the rest while you learn how" ...Finally, after she'd been in the Church for many years, she was ready to go to the temple.
Can such a person really expect to inherit the kingdom of God? Of course.

But now the harder question. At what point did this sister become a candidate for the kingdom? What is when she finally gave up cigarettes, or when she got her language and temper under control? Or was it when she finally qualified for a temple recommend? No. It was none of these, though they were all important landmarks in her progress. She was justified through her faith in Jesus Christ on the day that she repented of her sins, was baptized, and received the gift of the Holy Ghost, for she entered into that covenant in good faith and with all sincerity.

I love that question: "At what point [do we] become a candidate for the kingdom?" And the answer is as soon as we enter the covenant of baptism and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost! From then on, as long as we "are willing", as long as we continue to repent and try to be better we can have absolute confidence that we are covered by the covenant and will be saved, for truly "God does not lie". To sum it up with one more line from the book "[God] does not measure height - he measures growth."

Week of Christmas

Let's not mention the number of days tardy this post is. Let's just be glad that it's here now, yes?
For our Christmasy activities that last little while we've been baking, reading the Ensign, and watching the 1st Presidency's Christmas Devotional. I have definitely enjoyed December more this year, and been able to spend so much more time feeling the spirit than normal. I'm grateful that we've done this despite our constant lack of constancy.

I've been thinking a lot about the Shepherds talked about in Luke 2 and other places. The Forgotten Carols' "The Shepherd: You were not there in Bethlehem". I have a gorgeous picture sitting in my living room with a Shepherd in it, and I got to spend some time in the temple this weekend, thinking, resting, and reading in the scriptures about sheep, Shepherd, and the promises of God.

Hebrews 13:20
Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant,
John 10:14
I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine.
Luke 2:18
And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.
Ezekiel 34:9
Therefore, O ye shepherds, hear the word of the Lord;
1 Peter 5:4
And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away.
1 Nephi 21:9
That thou mayest say to the prisoners: Go forth; to them that sit in darkness: Show yourselves. They shall feed in the ways, and their pastures shall be in all high places.
Ezekiel 34:14
I will feed them in a good pasture, and upon the high mountains of Israel shall their fold be: there shall they lie in a good fold, and in a fat pasture shall they feed upon the mountains of Israel.

The thought was very first spurred on, however, when we watched The church's DVD "Joy to the World". The shepherds in that movie are quite a rough group. So, why did the angels come to them, I wondered. Because they were humble is the standard answer. But, to me, our station in life seems to have little do with the amount of pride in our hearts. So, these shepherds must have had something to offer the story that no one else could. Or the story had something to offer them, that nothing else could.
My current theory is that the shepherds had to be there to welcome the newborn king, as Christ welcomes us. (Wish I knew more about sheep herding, I'm sure there's some great stuff I'm missing.)  And they had to be there to learn more about their roles as shepherds. Just as they watched over the Babe that night, they must give the same care for each of the sheep in their charge. They also could learn something about their God, that he is the Shepherd of our souls, a personal, caring God that the Jews had not known for sometime. That God would watch over them in the same way that a shepherd cares for his sheep. The Good Shepherd literally 'got His hands dirty' in caring for his broken and sick sheep. He stood between them and the wolves, and died for it.
So, what did the shepherds, or what can we take away from the experience of meeting the Christ child? How will we be different? Changed? More committed? More pure, more holy, more like Him.
And what about Mary? How did she change from her experience? What will I learn from the discomfort of pregnancy and delivery that will make me more like Him? What can I learn about motherhood from the Mother of Jesus?  How can I prepare my sons and daughters for service in the kingdom, to achieve their individual missions in this life?
I love this new song, sharing the thoughts of Mary as she greets her newborn son. I imagine how it will be for me. I don't know this little one yet, but I do know the Savior. And my gratitude to Him swells as I picture this moment for myself next April.
(Pause playlist below before starting video)

Francesca Battistelli
You're Here

Hold on now, got to take a deep breath.

I don't know what to say when I look in your eyes.

You made the world before I was born,
And here I am holding you in my arms tonight.

Noel, Noel
Jesus our Emmanuel.

You're here.
I'm holding you so near.
I'm staring into the face of my Savior,
King and Creator.
You could of left us on our own.
But you're here.

I don't know how long I'm going to have you for,
But I'll be watching when you change the world.
Look at your hands, they're still so small.
Someday you're going to stretch them out and save us all.

Noel, Noel
God with us, Emmanuel.

You're here.
I'm holding you so near.
I'm staring into the face of my Savior,
King and Creator.
You could of left us on your own.
But you're here.

Someday I'm going to look back on this,
The night that God became my baby boy.
Someday you're going to go home again,
But you'll leave your spirit,
And flood the world with joy.

You'll be here.
I'm holding you so near.
I'm staring into the face of my Savior,
King and Creator.
You could of left me on my own.
But your here.

You're here.
Hallelujah, you're here.
Hallelujah, you're here.

Free download of this song from Amazon.

Days 3,4, 5, 6, 7 of Christmas

I had a pretty bad sick couple of days, so I'm 5 days late instead of 2. On a high note, I started feeling the little babe yesterday. I've been worried, since all the guide books say I should've been feeling the baby for about 4 weeks now. Today it's so often I feel like I'm in the Magic Carpet at Lagoon. I wanted it, and now I get it.

Friday night I made the Latkes as promised. But I used part sweet potato and part russet, with no carrots as mine were frozen. Nothing against the recipe, but I though they were pretty boring.

Saturday morning I had the blessing of going to my parents' ward's Christmas breakfast. Part of the program was a local storyteller preform the Christmas story from Joseph's perspective. I blubbered. What is it about pregnancy? It was beautiful. If I find out he's doing it again, I'll invite you all. It was beautiful and sweet, and just what I needed. I caught a glimpse of what a miracle my own pregnancy is, and what real people Mary & Joesph were.

Sunday we ate dinner at my parents and missed the Christmas devotional, but I read a good part of the December Ensign in the morning. It is fabulous. It's like the church knew that we're trying to improve our holiday season, and amply provided. Highly recommended.

Monday evening, we caught the last night of the Live Nativity put on by one of the local farms in our town. I gushed, again. So what if the players were in jeans and sneakers? If Mary was bleach-blond with glitter nails? That they laughed and chatted. The scene, with the hay, the animals, and the baby-doll Jesus really touched me. We pet a donkey, sheep, and zebra-striped mule. I hope that you'll make time next year if you're in the area.

We have 2 treats as compesation for missing so many days.

Baby ELM 20 weeks gestational age

It's a little blurry, but it's baby's face in profile with a thumb's up sign pointing to babe's forehead.

Wow. 

Can you believe that??? I hardly can, but it is getting a touch more real.

Treat #2 is VERY one of my very favorite songs ever. And it seems to fit with the two awesome experiences I had. 

#18 on the playlist "Breath of Heaven" sung by Amy Grant. It's really touching, and honestly, too much for this emotional pregnant girl to take much of.

Breath of Heaven

I have traveled
Many moonless night
Cold and Weary
With a babe inside
And I wonder
What I've done
Holy Father
You have come
Chosen me now
To carry your son

I am waiting
in a silent prayer
I am frightened
by the load I bear
In a world as cold as stone
Must I walk this path alone
Be with me now
Be with me now

Breath of Heaven
Hold me together
Be forever near me
Breath of Heaven

Breath of Heaven
Lighten my darkness
Pour over me, your holiness
For your holy Breath of Heaven
Do you wonder
As you watch my face
If a wiser one, should of had my place
But I offer-all I am
For the mercy-of your plan
Help me be strong
Help me be
Help me

Painting is, of course, copyright Joseph Brickey, but as I own a print that I purchased directly from the artist, I feel ok about posting it.

Day 2 of Christmas

Last night went pretty well as a beginning. I forgot that it was Cub Ssout Pack Night at the church so unfortunately, we never got to our after-dinner discussion/study. However, strangely enough, E walked in and said, "do you know the history of Hannukah?" Um, yeah, why do you ask? He had just heard a snippit on NPR on his way home about it. None of which was the same as I posted last night. I asked him to add it to yesterday's post, but we had some computer issues before bed, so it'll be in today's post instead.

Here is the loaf that I made last night. It was probably 2x too much for 2 people, as a warning.

 The seeded (with dinner, very yummy)

And the glazed. (which we were not in the mood for, due to a new cookie recipe, I think)

Here is the recipe for the one I made last night. If you're looking for an equally good, but more authentic recipe, I have made this one before with great success.

Tonight we'll have latkes with/for dinner. I haven't figured out what to serve them with. Probably just a spinach salad. E LOVES potatoes so they should be a success. I have also made blitzes from the same website that have large amounts of potatoes in them as well. Some recipes call for some sweet potato (in this case yam) to be mixed in with the regular. I'll probably do that.

The non-food potion of today's message will came form last night's missed course of study.  The NPR report reminded us that the 8 days of Hanukkah, and the lighting of the menorah candles is in commemoration of the miracle of the Jews returning to the temple (circa 2nd century BC) by Judah Maccabees and his army*. The rededication included lighting the menorah with 1 day's worth of oil. The miracle was that it actually burned for 8, giving the people time to press, prepare, and consecrate more oil for the burning of the eternal flame. 

What has the Lord done for us? When have been times of rededication for me, personally, that the Lord, Himself, has facilitated? To say nothing of what the temple has meant to me and my family. What are some miracles that I've been given, but haven't yet thanked the Lord for? 

The first miracle that comes to mind is the one that's causing me pain and distress at the moment. How can I thank the Lord for making me fruitful, to enjoy the blessings of posterity? Should/can the weight of my thanksgiving to Him match the immensity of this blessing? Or would daily prayer and striving to have a better attitude suffice? There will be some soul-searching journal writing tonight.

The only obstacle for tonight is that there is a R.S. activity. It'll be a miracle if A)I go, B)I don't throw up while there.  

Happy Day 2 of Christmas 2010!

*Another inspiring story that I learned from Living Scriptures. You can watch a little of the story on their site, as well as download a HUGE PDF activity book for free.

Our 25 Days of Christmas

To help us focus on Christ, and generally enjoy this holiday season, I've decided to do something everyday to help us celebrate. I will/have draw from many different traditions to do this so don't be surprised if there is something new or something you don't quite get. I'll try to post everyday, as a surprise to Ethan.

December 1-also the 1st day of Hanukkah (you'll see many Jewish-themed things (food at least).
I am baking a Challah (plural-Challot-that makes me laugh) to have with dinner. We'll read from the scriptures and other sources about bread, leavening, and the like afterwards. Half the loaf will be savory to go with eggs and bacon, and the other half will be frosted for dessert.
If you don't know the history of Hanukkah, I highly recommended finding a legitimate source to study from. It is a beautiful tradition and has quite a few similarities to our Latter-Day doctrine of Temples and the Second Coming. May we pray for that day and be found faithful to rejoice in it!

As I understand it, the menorah is a symbol of covenants (upside-down rainbow). The lights are the Light of God, and the tree shape symbolizes Eve, the mother of life, or Mary, mother of Jesus (as taught in 1st Nephi). Jews place these formerly temple-only decor piece in their windows to show that the temple (lost ages ago, yet restored outside of their faith later) stilll lives on inside each believer and their home. And that they count down the days (by lighting 1 candle a day) when the Lord may again abide inside and invite them to the temple once more.

How could I ask for more?

I am so excited to share this song with you. It's got so many warm-fuzzies in it and I think it's message is quite powerful for this time of year.
Do you find it odd that Thanksgiving falls before Christmas, and not after?
Seems so ironic to me that while we're trying to be grateful we get bombarded by the black friday/Christmas ads and all we can think about is what we n-e-e-d on the very day that  we're supposed to look around, surrounded by family and the blessings of the Gospel, and realize that we really have more than we need, and even want.

How could I ask for more?

#14 on the playlist
There's nothing like the warmth of a summer afternoon
Waking to the sunlight, and being cradled by the moon
Catching fireflies at night
Building castles in the sand
Kissing Mama's face goodnight
Holding Daddy's hand
Thank you Lord, how could I ask for more

Running barefoot through the grass,
A little hide and go seek
Being so in love, that you can hardly eat
Dancing in the dark, when there's no one else around
Being bundled 'neath the covers, watching snow fall to the ground
Thank you Lord, how could I ask for more

So many things I thought would bring me happiness
Some dreams that are realities today
Such an irony the things that mean the most to me
Are the memories that I've made along the way

So if there's anything I've learned,
From this journey I am on,
Simple truths will keep you going
Simple love will keep you strong
Cause there are questions without answers
Flames that never die
Heartaches we go through are often blessings in disguise
So thank you Lord, oh thank you Lord
How could I ask for more.

Christmas is Coming!!!

I'm currently pining for the snow of Cache Valley winter's past. 

I found this sweet Christmas song and wanted to share it.

 Its Christmas time and soon I know I’ll see
Presents underneath the Christmas tree
Mistletoe and stockings in their place
Extra cookie out for Santa in case
But tonight I’m setting up the manger underneath the tree
And counting all the pieces as a question comes to me

Was he a boy like me?
Did he bounce on daddy’s knee?
Did he play games to make his mother smile?
As I place the final piece inside the manger scene
I wonder if he was a boy like me

Throw tinsel on it and some candy canes 
Turn on the hi-fi Julie Andrew sings
Jingle bells I wish some snow would fall
Say our thanks wish merry Christmas to all
But as I stare out the window at the Christmas star tonight
There’s a question I must ask you and I hope that you don’t mind

I knocked the wise man over when I put the baby in
I set him up so he could see the child once again
I fixed the broken shepherd so he could stand up tall
Looking in his eyes I think I see just what he saw

He saw a boy like me
He bounced him on his knee
They played some games that made his mother smile
As you place the final piece inside your manger scene
They wondered at this boy 
They gazed upon this gift
In a boy like me

Crayola Colors

Don't miss our big announcement! Scroll down a post to see it!

Love this re-make of an old song. Boy, is it true about E's eyes. They are so enigmatic, shameless, and mischievous. A color that can't be named. And so is my love for him. I can't explain it. He's so different and so special that nothing can touch him and bring him back to normal. He's done so much for me the past 4 years and throughout this new, sometimes scary, experience of pregnancy. Just grateful and in awe. Thought you should know.

Expecting one of our own . . .

Surprise!

The baby God has planned for me and E 
isn't coming from an agency, but from inside of me!

OK, since I've never done this before, and too much of anything is making me sick these days, this will be quick and concise.

1. Are we excited?
1. Absolutely! Ecstatic! If you don't know, we had our hopes placed in adoption and this is such a huge blessing. The weight of it is indescribable.
2. How do I feel?
1. Sick. This thing a size of a lime can make me lose it anytime, anyplace???? Explain this to me.
3. Was this planned?
1. Ha! Is there much in our lives that is? It's more like the unplanned, unprepared, and unbelievable.
4. When am I due?
1. In the spring. "I always wanted to be a June bride, and have a baby right off, in the spring maybe"
2. I don't know. Doc keeps changing her mind. As of today I am 13 weeks 5 days.
5. What are my thoughts about delivery?
1. If I fit within the parameters of low-risk, my ideal birth would be at home, well, a home with a huge jetted tub with just Hubby, midwife, and doula.
2. However, Ethan is justifiably a little nervous about complications and such, so our first will definitely be in a hospital. Natural, but we'll have to see about a tub there.
6. Is it a Boy or Girl?
1. ????
7. 7. How did you find out you were pregnant?
1. I've been going to a chiropractor and while discussing my aches and pains she says, "could you be pregnant?" I say no. Not possible. Well, possible, but no. So I got a hosp test and prepped myself for the all-to-common "negative" over the phone. She said "positive". What? "Positive". Oh. Ok.
8. Did you want to find out the sex?
1. Not sure.  We probably won't for the fun of it, also the frugality to not buy much since we won't know colors etc. Plus I like green W-A-Y over pink or blue.
   
9. Relief?
1. Sleeping, but more specifically having crazy/intensely detailed dreams. If it's illogical and I'm skinny, I know I can relax and not worry about losing my lunch.
2. 1/2 Gatorade/Powerade, 1/2 ice water. First liquid that I can consume at all. And I can do 2 glasses a meal without feeling queasy or losing it later.
10. Favorite parts?
1. My Grandma's reaction, she was so excited for us.
2. Having so many other friends due around my time. I thought I'd never be in "the club" or be able to do "playdates" with them.
3. Having a secret this big.
4. My Grandma made us an exceptionally-adorable (and gender-neutral) baby blanket, just like the ones I had as a baby (and still occasionally sleep with).
5. Getting to have snow/winter for the greater part of this journey. I LOVE Oct-May in Cache Valley!!!!
11. Total weight gain/loss?
• - 20 from pre-conception.
12. Best moment this week?
• Watching the babe kick and squirm through the 12-week (ish) ultra-sound. Little bug's got E's nervous energy!

Please submit questions that you still have in the comments and I'll try to add them.