Golf Digest: Life Lessons #1

I know this is going to sound weird. A few years ago I was waiting for something and really bored. So, I picked up a Golf Digest from the coffee table and started reading. I learned some great life lessons from its pages. I think you can find truth and direction anywhere-if it's a true principle in golf, then it's a true principle in other areas as well. I do not pretend to understand these articles at all, as I do not play golf, but I do love what they teach. This has been particularly interesting as I study more about birth and look back at Joshua's birth. The excerpts I am sharing today are from the January 2011 issue, by Gio Valliante & Guy Yocom.
My additions are in ( ), emphasis added.

How to be a great performer (mother, employee, etc)

1. See the positive in a setback. ...he asked himself, "what can I learn from this?" Matt thought he played too conservatively on Sunday, so he resolved to have a more aggressive mind-set. 3 weeks later he shot a final-round 69 and won. The positives are always there if you make the effort to find them.
2. Allow success to find you. ...Matt had nine top tens on the year, but no wins. The tendency here is to press. But we agreed that rather to make any changes he just needed to keep getting in position (be where you need to be, consistently trying to do the right things). Players often get impatient and make a ... change or or a shift in strategy, when all they need is perseverance. That's what Matt had and he got his win this week.
3. Don't think golf (life) owes you. ...he went on to lose...Camilo's reaction was interesting: "I made a lot of putts in the past week. Even great putters miss putts sometimes." (Do I let my failures define me, or who I am the majority of the time define me?) A week later he flew home to his home country of Columbia...he returned with a bounce in his step and a free stroke with the putter. He...won by five. The lesson: We are entitled to nothing in golf. Playing the game, with appreciation and in good health-those are gifts. That realization may have a major effect on you.
4. The game seneds messages. In 2009 Stuart finished 137th on the money list. His swing was good; more than anything, he seemed unmotivated. I thought the game was telling him he needed to rediscover his passion (you are where you are because you loved something about it, what was it? Can you find it again to find success?) We talked about it, and he responded, (do I get defensive when people close to me tell me they are seeing something I'm not?) working very hard...he wound up...to win at the Greenbrier. How did he celebrate (do I rest after an accomplishment or keep doing what made the difference?)? By playing 5 of the next 6 weeks. The game speaks to us and tells us why we're underpreforming. Listen up.
5. Play with a fearless edge. The Sunday before the Barclays in 2009, it looked like Heath was going to miss out on the FedEx Cup. When he just squeaked in, he felt like it was all a bonus and decided to play without fear, mind you, he didn't play reckless, but gone was the feeling of restraint. That freedom produced great results and a one-shot win over Tiger Woods. ( Similar to #4, feel the blessing of being where I am and the opportunity to try, let go of the feeling to achieve/preform for others)
6. Talk sense into bad shots. Disappointment over poor shots is something Heath has struggled with, He used to interpret anything less than prefect shot as a failure (does this ring true to anybody else?) When this happened, he played with no psychological freedom. (what would psychological freedom feel like? Learning from past mistakes so that you can let go of them and focus on present/future efforts?) Solution: After poor shots, Heath recently began saying aloud,"I accept the outcome of that shot." It doesn't mean he liked the shot, only that he was coming to terms with it.At the McGladrey Classic last fall, Heath was a master as letting go. He relaxed and won.
7. Score isn't the only measure (what's my scoreboard? Other people happy? Can't be, I can't control that. Perfect behavior for my kiddo? Ditto). When Arjun won the 2010 Wyndham Championship, he was ranked 450th in the world. 2 weeks before, he drove all night from West Virginia to New York to try to qualify for the Turning Stone event. Playing on an hour's sleep, he made it into the playoff but lost...his text reads, "I'm learning. And getting better, dude." (like in the movie "The Robinson's", you learn more from failure than you do from success) Point being, it often takes time for improvement to show up (on the scoreboard). You need patience (no kidding. Wouldn't it be great if we could learn that? Instead of judging ourselves/other on outcome, we used effort instead?). Arjun had it.
8. Be a peaceful warrior. When Justin tied for 4th in the '98 British Open at 17, his potential seemed limitless (ever been stuck with others having a great 1st impression of you, or you of others?) But the ensuing years were a mix of slumps and near misses (only to realize that it was a great day followed by a bad week or vice-versa). Justin and I agreed on a plan: He would do everything quietly (this sounds to me like no high-highs and therefore no low-lows, a seemingly boring, but calm/nice place to be) and in a calm spirit, never losing his inner peace because of something on or off the course. (In striving for inner peace, why give it up in an instant for others or an unrealistic standard you've set for yourself?) He was a peaceful warrior that week and shot 66 the last day for his first tour win-one of two in 2010. like Justin, strive for peace, and leave behind all that self-impsed pressure. (Did these guys know they were writing a motivation speech? What example can you share of a "peaceful warrior"?)
9. Rhythm will ease pressure (definitely a principle to be applied to labor). A few weeks after the Memorial, Justin staggered home...and missed out on another win. The next day I handed him a "Sunday Guide for Closing," (interesting it was to be done on a Sunday, the day we renew and start again fresh) which he was to take into next week. the plan had 3 elements: 1-Find the rhythm in your pre-shot routine (what preparation do I take before doing something I'm good at?); 2-Soften your grip pressure (am I holding onto something too tightly that actually isn't as important?); 3-think release to the target on full swings and release the blade with the putter (another obvious one fore birth, we so want to be in control, especially when there are other people involved, but the beauty and strength of labor is knowing when to release and let go for our body, for other's help and to God). These keys counter stress (oh yeeeeaahhh), which causes muscles to tighten (pain) and stops the flow of your swing (labor progress). Justin turned it around and won again that week, looking relaxed all the way. (Seriously, theses guys could be awesome labor coaches! Sorry, back to life lessons)
10. Make a mental  to-do list. D.J. got off to a so-so start on the Nationwide Tour in 2010. He thought his mindset needed work, so he went back to an old checklist we'd made. It contained keys like going "all in" (WAC anyone?) on every shot and showing up on the first tee with good rhythm rather than trying to find it ("Start your day off right" comes to mind, remembering to get up with the alarm, eat a good breakfast and start with prayer/scripture study to begin right rather that just 'hoping' through the day). D.J. won...after dusting off that list. Of course, every golfer's list will vary, but the point is to make one. It'll give you a frame of reference and clarity of purpose (what do I need to get done today? Love God, love my husband, my baby, my neighbor, and laundry/dinner/blogging will just be a bonus).

I hope you can find your own interpretations in this and feel free to share them.

More quotes

More from my collection. ps-I cannot verify the validity of any of these quotes.


I feel a great burden being a member of the church, and yet, I'd rather feel it than not.
~Justin Cracroft

You can't go back to where you haven't been, you can't teach that which you don't know.

There is no danger of developing eyestrain from looking at the bright side of things.

There is a Book of Revelations in everyone's life. Everyday is a fresh start with no mistakes.
~Anne of Avonlea

If you want to give light to others, you first have to glow yourselves.
~Pres. Thomas S Monson

It's only a sacrifice if you give more than you get.
~Pres. Gordon B, Hinkley

Missionary work is the lifeblood of the Kingdom. When it stops flowing, the kingdom stops growing.
~Pres. Spencer W Kimball

We are not fighting for ourselves, we are fighting for the Savior.
~Elder Rex D Pinegar

When obedience ceases to be an irritant and becomes a quest, in that moment God with endow us with power.
~Pres. Ezra T Benson

Be loyal to the royal within you.
~ Pres. Harold B Lee

What we insistently desire, over time, is what we will eventually become and what we will eventually receive in Eternity.
~Elder Neil A Maxwell

When satan reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.
~Matt Huff

The field is white, step up to the plate.
~Matt Nelson

Sisters, you and your Christ-like attributes are what will get these investigators interested.
~Elder Kikuchi

When members and missionaries work together, baptisms can rise to whatever level the members want.
~Elder M Russel Ballard

Are you the kind of missionary your mother thinks you are?

Everything that is precious to me is mine be covenant.
~Kenton Allred

He's dying to know us. No, He died to know us. Love the Lord with all thy hear,t might, mind, and soul. When we do, the Lord is eager to bless us.
~Jason Ortiz

My heart rejoices until I can hardly remain earthbound.
If I could change anything about my life, I wish that I would pray more.
~Pres. Rhodes

Stretch seconds, magnify  moments.

That person is not truly converted until he sees the power of God resting upon the leaders if the church, until it goes into his hears like fire.
~ Pres. Harold B Lee

There are few people who are either too stupid or too dishonest that you can't learn something from everyone around you.

Always use the scriptures! My mom told me to never give a talk with at least one scripture.

Bedtime Story

I read Joshua this book tonight before putting him down for bed. It's a really simple story to remind us about choosing the  right companion for our mortal journey. The Son is the only one that can play the same song as the Father, although others may try to imityate it and fill our ears with all sorts of noisees and melodies. The title inplies that Christ is with us through our trials (which He is), but is actually focused on the His higher and more glorious purpose of helping us back to the Father to become like Him.
The library is open for lending....

Ah, Hong Kong.

 So, I used to collect quotes. I ran across these in an old folder and wanted to preserve them here before tossing them. What beautiful memories. God be praised for His mercy and plan in sending me to China.

If you are ever called upon to chasten a person, never chasten beyond the balm you have within you to bind up. ~Brigham young

Yang Kekurangan dijadikan Cukup melalui Korban Tebusan Yesus Kristus.
Translation: That which is found lacking is made enough through the Atonement of Jesus Christ

View all things through the lenses of Eternity. ~James E. Faust

Our standards are not socially negotiable. ~Jeffery R. Holland

If you looked so much like the world, how would they find you? ~Neal A. Maxwell

To live and move among men, requires the heart to break . . . or harden. ~Maclane Strong

Living an inspirational life is more important than saying inspirational things ~Maclane Strong (oh the irony...)

Thick skin, soft heart. ~Maclane Strong

When the Lord commands, do it. ~Joseph Smith

If you love the Truth, you will remember it. ~Brigham Young

The devil thinks Mormonism died in Joseph. But the Gospel is in God, who never changes. ~Kyle Johnson

We will never be alone so long as we know how to pray. ~Joseph B. Wirthlin

When you save a girl, you save generations. ~Gordon B. Hinkley

They will love you , not because of who you are, but because of what you bring them. ~President Ong

I hope that things continue to remind you of the presence of your God and your calling to serve Him and His Son. Stay humble, and remember Whose time this is. ~Jake Weirman

I hope that you feel like you're a successful missionary, because you are.~Summer Hoogendorn

Footprints are not made by the leader that said, 'Go thither', but by the Leader that said, 'Come Follow Me'.


Even if the Gospel changes our lives, what good is it if it doesn't change us? ~Jessica Waters

It is the enemy who can truly teach us to practice the virtues of compassion and tolerance. ~Dalai Lama

Fear not. Consider the chickens. ~Kit Burton

The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones. ~Chinese Proverb

They won’t remember what you said or did, but how you made them feel. ~Margaret Gnadt

The church in Aberdeen is far from the fish so it doesn’t smell bad. In fact, it’s a very nice church. ~Laura Bailey

Where is a Chinese person? ~Elder Matsamuri

I don’t try my best, I DO my best. ~Sister Ladesma

I was never given the chance to change until I met the missionaries and they taught me the Gospel of Jesus Christ. ~A Chinese convert

I have a remedy so you don’t have to move…we’ll drag down the sun! ~Sister Bautista

Repenting: When you stop seeking some things, and start seeking others. ~Hugh Nibley

Are you satisfied with your wound? He he, you’re laughing. He he. ~Chinese Doctor

By being fearless we see people’s lives change. ~Elder Hudson

What good is Eternity if a person can’t use a ½ hour? ~Elder Erickson

Consecration means that I'll give you my best hammer for your best loaf of bread. ~Maclane Strong

 Actually, the spirit calls me Ted. ~President Ong

I love the Chinese people because under their minds, they have a heart that is soft. ~Elder Julian

I’m glad my companion listened more to the spirit than to the conversation. ~Jake Wierman

Other than the Gospel is gossip. ~Sis Arandia

To share the Gospel in difficult circumstances means to treasure it even more. ~Richard G. Scott

So, is this sweater missionary appropriate?~Pres. Ong

Everything Christ does is an invitation. ~Elder Segars

Your faith must make up for their lack of faith. ~Tyler Whitlock

Your best becomes better everyday. ~Elder Strong

It is better to ruffle a few feathers than to deprive a friend of the knowledge and eternal life of the Gospel. ~Joseph Smith

Our responsibility is to help people have a spiritual experience. ~Satish Tewari

God only uses tools that are organized. ~Elder Hudson

My honor is intact because I have been striving for His. ~Elder Barson

Here is my Facebook Mission album if you'd like to see.

Believing Christ

I have been rereading Believing Christ by Stephen E. Robinson over the last few months (I lost it for a while...) and while I'm not done I wanted to share a story from the book that, to me, best exemplifies the main principle of the book:

...many years ago I came into contact with a woman who was, initially at least, one of the roughest persons I have ever known. Abused as a child, she had run away from home and lived on the streets for years...[and] traveled around the country with a morotcycle gang. In late middle age, her beauty gone, she spent most of her time in a pub, where some missionaries met her when they went in to get change for a pay phone outside. When she was baptized, many of the members worried that her conversion wouldn't last, and there were good reasons to suspect that it might not.
For a long time after her baptism, this sister still swore...[and] never quite lived the word of wisdom one hundred percent. On one occasion during her first year in the Church, she lost her temper during a relief society meeting and punched out one of the other sisters...

Now the question before us is whether someone like this can seriously expect to be saved....
'Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow'...God does not lie. Whoever will come, may come. All are invited, none is excluded. Though this sister had further to travel than most, the same covenant was offered to her: "Do all you can. I will do the rest while you learn how" ...Finally, after she'd been in the Church for many years, she was ready to go to the temple.
Can such a person really expect to inherit the kingdom of God? Of course.

But now the harder question. At what point did this sister become a candidate for the kingdom? What is when she finally gave up cigarettes, or when she got her language and temper under control? Or was it when she finally qualified for a temple recommend? No. It was none of these, though they were all important landmarks in her progress. She was justified through her faith in Jesus Christ on the day that she repented of her sins, was baptized, and received the gift of the Holy Ghost, for she entered into that covenant in good faith and with all sincerity.

I love that question: "At what point [do we] become a candidate for the kingdom?" And the answer is as soon as we enter the covenant of baptism and receive the gift of the Holy Ghost! From then on, as long as we "are willing", as long as we continue to repent and try to be better we can have absolute confidence that we are covered by the covenant and will be saved, for truly "God does not lie". To sum it up with one more line from the book "[God] does not measure height - he measures growth."

Week of Christmas

Let's not mention the number of days tardy this post is. Let's just be glad that it's here now, yes?
For our Christmasy activities that last little while we've been baking, reading the Ensign, and watching the 1st Presidency's Christmas Devotional. I have definitely enjoyed December more this year, and been able to spend so much more time feeling the spirit than normal. I'm grateful that we've done this despite our constant lack of constancy.

I've been thinking a lot about the Shepherds talked about in Luke 2 and other places. The Forgotten Carols' "The Shepherd: You were not there in Bethlehem". I have a gorgeous picture sitting in my living room with a Shepherd in it, and I got to spend some time in the temple this weekend, thinking, resting, and reading in the scriptures about sheep, Shepherd, and the promises of God.

Hebrews 13:20
Now the God of peace, that brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the everlasting covenant,
John 10:14
I am the good shepherd, and know my sheep, and am known of mine.
Luke 2:18
And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds.
Ezekiel 34:9
Therefore, O ye shepherds, hear the word of the Lord;
1 Peter 5:4
And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, ye shall receive a crown of glory that fadeth not away.
1 Nephi 21:9
That thou mayest say to the prisoners: Go forth; to them that sit in darkness: Show yourselves. They shall feed in the ways, and their pastures shall be in all high places.
Ezekiel 34:14
I will feed them in a good pasture, and upon the high mountains of Israel shall their fold be: there shall they lie in a good fold, and in a fat pasture shall they feed upon the mountains of Israel.

The thought was very first spurred on, however, when we watched The church's DVD "Joy to the World". The shepherds in that movie are quite a rough group. So, why did the angels come to them, I wondered. Because they were humble is the standard answer. But, to me, our station in life seems to have little do with the amount of pride in our hearts. So, these shepherds must have had something to offer the story that no one else could. Or the story had something to offer them, that nothing else could.
My current theory is that the shepherds had to be there to welcome the newborn king, as Christ welcomes us. (Wish I knew more about sheep herding, I'm sure there's some great stuff I'm missing.)  And they had to be there to learn more about their roles as shepherds. Just as they watched over the Babe that night, they must give the same care for each of the sheep in their charge. They also could learn something about their God, that he is the Shepherd of our souls, a personal, caring God that the Jews had not known for sometime. That God would watch over them in the same way that a shepherd cares for his sheep. The Good Shepherd literally 'got His hands dirty' in caring for his broken and sick sheep. He stood between them and the wolves, and died for it.
So, what did the shepherds, or what can we take away from the experience of meeting the Christ child? How will we be different? Changed? More committed? More pure, more holy, more like Him.
And what about Mary? How did she change from her experience? What will I learn from the discomfort of pregnancy and delivery that will make me more like Him? What can I learn about motherhood from the Mother of Jesus?  How can I prepare my sons and daughters for service in the kingdom, to achieve their individual missions in this life?
I love this new song, sharing the thoughts of Mary as she greets her newborn son. I imagine how it will be for me. I don't know this little one yet, but I do know the Savior. And my gratitude to Him swells as I picture this moment for myself next April.
(Pause playlist below before starting video)

Francesca Battistelli
You're Here

Hold on now, got to take a deep breath.

I don't know what to say when I look in your eyes.

You made the world before I was born,
And here I am holding you in my arms tonight.

Noel, Noel
Jesus our Emmanuel.

You're here.
I'm holding you so near.
I'm staring into the face of my Savior,
King and Creator.
You could of left us on our own.
But you're here.

I don't know how long I'm going to have you for,
But I'll be watching when you change the world.
Look at your hands, they're still so small.
Someday you're going to stretch them out and save us all.

Noel, Noel
God with us, Emmanuel.

You're here.
I'm holding you so near.
I'm staring into the face of my Savior,
King and Creator.
You could of left us on your own.
But you're here.

Someday I'm going to look back on this,
The night that God became my baby boy.
Someday you're going to go home again,
But you'll leave your spirit,
And flood the world with joy.

You'll be here.
I'm holding you so near.
I'm staring into the face of my Savior,
King and Creator.
You could of left me on my own.
But your here.

You're here.
Hallelujah, you're here.
Hallelujah, you're here.

Free download of this song from Amazon.

Day 2 of Christmas

Last night went pretty well as a beginning. I forgot that it was Cub Ssout Pack Night at the church so unfortunately, we never got to our after-dinner discussion/study. However, strangely enough, E walked in and said, "do you know the history of Hannukah?" Um, yeah, why do you ask? He had just heard a snippit on NPR on his way home about it. None of which was the same as I posted last night. I asked him to add it to yesterday's post, but we had some computer issues before bed, so it'll be in today's post instead.

Here is the loaf that I made last night. It was probably 2x too much for 2 people, as a warning.

 The seeded (with dinner, very yummy)

And the glazed. (which we were not in the mood for, due to a new cookie recipe, I think)

Here is the recipe for the one I made last night. If you're looking for an equally good, but more authentic recipe, I have made this one before with great success.

Tonight we'll have latkes with/for dinner. I haven't figured out what to serve them with. Probably just a spinach salad. E LOVES potatoes so they should be a success. I have also made blitzes from the same website that have large amounts of potatoes in them as well. Some recipes call for some sweet potato (in this case yam) to be mixed in with the regular. I'll probably do that.

The non-food potion of today's message will came form last night's missed course of study.  The NPR report reminded us that the 8 days of Hanukkah, and the lighting of the menorah candles is in commemoration of the miracle of the Jews returning to the temple (circa 2nd century BC) by Judah Maccabees and his army*. The rededication included lighting the menorah with 1 day's worth of oil. The miracle was that it actually burned for 8, giving the people time to press, prepare, and consecrate more oil for the burning of the eternal flame. 

What has the Lord done for us? When have been times of rededication for me, personally, that the Lord, Himself, has facilitated? To say nothing of what the temple has meant to me and my family. What are some miracles that I've been given, but haven't yet thanked the Lord for? 

The first miracle that comes to mind is the one that's causing me pain and distress at the moment. How can I thank the Lord for making me fruitful, to enjoy the blessings of posterity? Should/can the weight of my thanksgiving to Him match the immensity of this blessing? Or would daily prayer and striving to have a better attitude suffice? There will be some soul-searching journal writing tonight.

The only obstacle for tonight is that there is a R.S. activity. It'll be a miracle if A)I go, B)I don't throw up while there.  

Happy Day 2 of Christmas 2010!

*Another inspiring story that I learned from Living Scriptures. You can watch a little of the story on their site, as well as download a HUGE PDF activity book for free.

Our 25 Days of Christmas

To help us focus on Christ, and generally enjoy this holiday season, I've decided to do something everyday to help us celebrate. I will/have draw from many different traditions to do this so don't be surprised if there is something new or something you don't quite get. I'll try to post everyday, as a surprise to Ethan.

December 1-also the 1st day of Hanukkah (you'll see many Jewish-themed things (food at least).
I am baking a Challah (plural-Challot-that makes me laugh) to have with dinner. We'll read from the scriptures and other sources about bread, leavening, and the like afterwards. Half the loaf will be savory to go with eggs and bacon, and the other half will be frosted for dessert.
If you don't know the history of Hanukkah, I highly recommended finding a legitimate source to study from. It is a beautiful tradition and has quite a few similarities to our Latter-Day doctrine of Temples and the Second Coming. May we pray for that day and be found faithful to rejoice in it!

As I understand it, the menorah is a symbol of covenants (upside-down rainbow). The lights are the Light of God, and the tree shape symbolizes Eve, the mother of life, or Mary, mother of Jesus (as taught in 1st Nephi). Jews place these formerly temple-only decor piece in their windows to show that the temple (lost ages ago, yet restored outside of their faith later) stilll lives on inside each believer and their home. And that they count down the days (by lighting 1 candle a day) when the Lord may again abide inside and invite them to the temple once more.

How could I ask for more?

I am so excited to share this song with you. It's got so many warm-fuzzies in it and I think it's message is quite powerful for this time of year.
Do you find it odd that Thanksgiving falls before Christmas, and not after?
Seems so ironic to me that while we're trying to be grateful we get bombarded by the black friday/Christmas ads and all we can think about is what we n-e-e-d on the very day that  we're supposed to look around, surrounded by family and the blessings of the Gospel, and realize that we really have more than we need, and even want.

How could I ask for more?

#14 on the playlist
There's nothing like the warmth of a summer afternoon
Waking to the sunlight, and being cradled by the moon
Catching fireflies at night
Building castles in the sand
Kissing Mama's face goodnight
Holding Daddy's hand
Thank you Lord, how could I ask for more

Running barefoot through the grass,
A little hide and go seek
Being so in love, that you can hardly eat
Dancing in the dark, when there's no one else around
Being bundled 'neath the covers, watching snow fall to the ground
Thank you Lord, how could I ask for more

So many things I thought would bring me happiness
Some dreams that are realities today
Such an irony the things that mean the most to me
Are the memories that I've made along the way

So if there's anything I've learned,
From this journey I am on,
Simple truths will keep you going
Simple love will keep you strong
Cause there are questions without answers
Flames that never die
Heartaches we go through are often blessings in disguise
So thank you Lord, oh thank you Lord
How could I ask for more.

God Answers Prayers

Megan and I were sorting through old mission papers and we found this great poem she wrote (she doesn't know I'm posting it...yet).

God Answers Prayers
by Megan

Have you ever talked to God above?
Telling that you need a friend to love.
Pray in Jesus' name believing that God answers prayers.

Have you told Him all your cares and woes?
Every tiny little fear He Knows, you can know he's always there,
And He will answer prayers.

You can whisper in the crowd to him.
You can cry when you're alone to him.
You don't have to pray out loud to him,
He knows your thoughts.

On a lonely mountain peak, He's there.
In a meadow by the stream, He's there.
Anywhere on earth you go, He's been there from the star.

Find the answers in his words true.
You'll be strong because he walks with you.
You will know He's always there for you,
And that He answers prayers.

Lead Me

This is such a powerful song for husbands and wives. I love it...putting our strength in God to do what He's asked us to. Here is the artist and his wife talking about the history of this song. I think everyone should hear it. I especially love the prayer at the end-a model for open, honest prayer, pleading for help from our Father. It's #22 on our playlist if you want to listen along.

I look around and see my wonderful life
Almost perfect from the outside
In picture frames I see my beautiful wife
Always smiling
But on the inside, I can hear her saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

I see their faces, look in their innocent eyes
They're just children from the outside
I'm working hard, I tell myself they'll be fine
They're in independent
But on the inside, I can hear them saying...

“Lead me with strong hands
Stand up when I can't
Don't leave me hungry for love
Chasing dreams, but what about us?

Show me you're willing to fight
That I'm still the love of your life
I know we call this our home
But I still feel alone”

So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?

To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up

I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

Father, lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone

It's about love.

I'm not sure what else you substitute in place of "love" in the title. Maybe fear? selfishness? desperation?
We've been to an adoption workshop the last 2 days and have learned so much,

1. Birth mothers are A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. We are so excited to meet and get to know ours. 
2. The spirits of our children might come through another woman's body, but they are ours nonetheless.
3. We can afford the adoption expenses.
4. There is a Family Home Evening group of "Couples in Waiting". Finally, a group of people that we can identify with and can understand us as a childless couple.
5. Every adoption story is different, and a miracle in its own right.
6. The phrase "putting up for adoption" applies more to us as a couple that we are putting ourselves out there to be selected. "placing for adoption" emphasizes the love and care of a birth mother and intentionally placing the life of her little one to give life to another family. 
7. Developing and maintaining a deep, personal, and open relationship with the birth mother is going to be my way of allowing the Savior to heal the pain of being childless and my fear of close relationships with others.
8. That we need to be clear with our friends and family about the level of privacy that we desire as we invite their help in looking for our child.
9. That we need to be clear about our willingness to continue a relationship with the birth mother after placement.
10. That we can grieve for our years of infertility whether or not it will be a permanent (mortal) condition. 
11.  It's OK to be me in completing our profile. I'm not perfect, but who I am is exactly what someone is out there looking for.
12. It's OK to honestly and prayerfully narrow our presences to within our comfort level. No promises about the Lord's preferences.
13. How to respond when your child plays the "you're not my 'real' parents" card. Also explaining adoption to your children.

Our Easter Weekend

Saturday was spent lounging around and (attentively) watching conference. What bliss. What truth.
Saturday evening I spent some time in the kitchen prepping some stuff for our Passover lunch that we planned to have with another couple and their new baby on Sunday. Oh, and while E was at priesthood, I visited an old mission buddy grilling her on the details of her upcoming wedding. SO EXCITING!
Sunday morning E helped me get things ready to go in the oven, offering his hand at washing and chopping potatoes, rolling out bread dough, and mixing up the sauce for the roast. He said he was surprised by how much work it was getting a little meal ready. ;-)
Well, the meal turned out very yummy and uplifting. After dessert some of us shared our testimony of Christ. I shared about my favorite Easter memory. On my mission I was asked to put the Easter program together for the branch sacrament meeting. I was terrified. Seeing my musical incompetence, the Lord truly blessed me with so many wonderful experiences at that time and we were able to pull it off. I also mentioned how much I love the idea of the Passover. With the blood of the Lamb on our doorways, death cannot enter in, evil cannot enter it. Yes, death will visit us all for a little season. But it will not stay, again, because of the blood of the Lamb. Do we need a symbol of some kind to place over our doorways so that the world will know of our faith? Of course not. We do not need a symbol because we have the true power of the Priesthood that makes out covenants and the Atonement real and efficacious in our lives.

Our Passover Meal: (Keep in mind that this was not a kosher meal, just a traditional one.)
London Broil Roast (from bakedbree.com/our modifications follow)
1 – 3.5 pound brisket (we used London Broil as it was cheaper)
3 onions sliced thin (2 onions)
3/4 cup chili sauce (should've halved this, it was SPICY)
1/4 cup ketchup
1 cup red wine (1 cup beef broth)
4 Tablespoons brown sugar
3 Tablespoons apple cider vinegar
3 cloves chopped garlic
1 teaspoon fresh thyme (omitted)
salt and pepper
Mix all of the sauce ingredients together. Season well. Pat the meat dry .Season with salt and pepper right before you sear it.  Crank up the heat in your pan and add a little oil.  It needs to be screaming hot before the beef goes in.  We are after a nice crispy crust on the outside of our brisket.

When both sides are seared put it in your roasting pan.
Pour the sauce all over the brisket.
Cover the brisket with the sliced onions.
Add a few sprigs of thyme and season with salt and pepper.
Cover with tin foil. Put the brisket in a 300 degree oven.  The time depends on how large your brisket is.  Mine was 3.5 pounds and it cooked for almost 3 hours.  Brisket should be fork tender.  If it is not fork tender, put it back in the oven until it is.(we cooked it for 2 hours and let it rest for 30 min-it was not very tender) Get on with the other parts of your meal.

Let it rest a bit before you cut it.  Slice on the bias against the grain.  This is very important.  If you cut with the grain, you will lost the texture of the brisket and it will be tough.(true dat)

Orange Jello
duh. And anyone who knows me well will attest that I am awful at making Jello. One recipe I found actually called for juice and gelatin, not a box of Jello. But we used a box.

Unleavened Bread (from tammysrecipes.com)

Yield: 

6 cookie sheets full

Ingredients: 

1/4 cup oil
1/4 cup honey
2 teaspoons salt
3 eggs
1 1/2 cups water
6 to 6 1/2 cups bread flour or all-purpose flour

Instructions: 

1. In a large mixing bowl, combine the oil, honey, salt, eggs, and water. Stir until well-mixed. Stir in about 4 cups of the flour, then add more flour as needed and knead into a fairly stiff dough.
2. Divide dough into 3 pieces. On a lightly floured surface, roll each piece into a large rectangle. You can make your matza as thin or as thick as you wish; we like ours rolled fairly thin.

3. Cut rolled dough into squares. Place squares onto lightly greased baking sheets. Prick with a fork. Sprinkle with salt if desired.
4. Bake in a preheated 375-degree oven. For thin matza, bake 10-11 minutes. For medium matza, 13-14 minutes. For thick matza, bake 15-20 minutes or until done. Matza should be very lightly browned on top. Over-baked matzah will be hard and not very good, so be careful to not bake too long!


Green Salad
My friend made it. It was good.

Roasted Veggies with Rosemary
We used about 3 pounds of red potatoes and 2 carrots. 1/2 cup of olive oil and 2 T of fresh rosemary. Seasoned well. Lined a cookie sheet with foil and they roasted with the meat at 300 degrees for 1 hour. Perfectly tender.

Macaroons (there are a million recipes for these. And it doesn't help that 2 distinctly different cookies have that name. I settled on a simple one and now I can't find it. Internet Cops: Please forgive me.) P.S. These we awesome. Next time I'll make a double batch.
7 oz sweetened coconut (1 small bag or 1/2 a large one)
1/2 cup sugar
3 egg whites
pinch of salt
Mix together and mound into tablespoon-sized balls and bake at 350 for 15 minutes.
I think next time I'll try unsweetened coconut and increase the sugar just a little. In my opinion, these cookies don't need to be really sweet to be good.

It was the general consensus around our table that the Jews used unleavened bread in remembrance of their flight out of Egypt. Oh, to have the kind of faith to flee from sin and follow the prophet in such haste that we wouldn't even allow our bread to rise! Reminds me of "Gazelle Intensity".
Thanks Jessie for the inspiration.

Happy Me

I don't love Martina McBride, but I do like several of her songs and own (one of my first cd purchases) her greatest hits album. This song is on it, and I must include my other favorite from that in this post as they seem a nice pair.

 Blessed (#8)

I get kissed by the sun each morning

Put my feet on a hardwood floor

I get to hear my children laughing

Down the hall through the bedroom door

Sometimes I sit on my front porch swing

Just soaking up the day

I think to myself, I think to myself

This world is a beautiful place

I have been blessed

And I feel like I've found my way

I thank God for all I've been given

At the end of every day

I have been blessed

With so much more than I deserve

To be here with the ones that love me

To love them so much it hurts

I have been blessed

Across a crowded room

I know you know what I'm thinking

By the way I look at you

And when we're lying in the quiet

And no words have to be said

I think to myself, I think to myself

This love is a beautiful gift

I have to go back a few years to describe why this song is so important to me.  After high school, I had the wonderful opportunity to live with my older brother and his family. I hadn't known my brother that well as he moved out of the house when I was 7 years old.  Although I'm sure it wasn't convenient, or always pleasant for them, it was the perfect situation for me to get to know him, as well as have some freedom to stretch my wings in a new city. The first few lines describe waking up the sound of children laughing. Late nights out with friends afforded me the great pleasure of being woken up each morning by one, or all, of his 5 children. Is there a more joyful sound than a child giggling? Those children, along with their mother and father, taught me so much about the love of family. I had so many answered prayers in that tiny basement room because of their love and concern over me.

In the present, I have now found a new kind of love with my husband. A love of encouragement, of patience, and pure enjoyment of the other. He can read me so well. Too well, that it's especially frustrating when he doesn't. I never understood (although found it wonderfully romantic) when people said they're not sure where they end and the other begins. But I do now. We are one, through the power of the atonement continually refining and binding us together. I am indeed so very blessed.

Happy Girl (#21)

I used to live in a darkened room

Had a face of stone

And a heart of gloom

Lost my hope, I was so far gone

Crying all my tears

With the curtains drawn

I didn't know until my soul broke free

I've got these angels watching over me

I used to hide in a party crowd

Bottled up inside

Feeling so left out

Standing in a corner wearing concrete shoes

With my frozen smile

And my lighted fuse

Now every time I start to feel like that

I roll my heart out like a welcome mat

Laugh when I feel like it

Cry when I feel like it

That's just how my life is

That's how it goes

I'm a happy girl

And I've come to know

That the world won't change

Just 'cause I complain

Oh watch me go

I'm a happy girl

Everybody knows

That the sweetest thing you'll ever see

In the whole wide world

Is a happy girl

This philosophy is still a work-in-progress. In middle school, and much of high school, I didn't smile. I felt like I didn't have a thing to smile about. Except for the gospel. I had a place at church with friends and encouraging leaders. It feels so good now to sing out that I've moved past that. That I was given a chance to start a new life of joy and peace, and happiness. I'd love to be able to erase that dark part and start over. But would I be where I am today without it? Would it spoil some vast eternal plan? I don't know. I know that the kind faces shine so much brighter to me in memory because of the backdrop.

Teaching in the R.S.

Over the last 3 1/2 years in this ward, I think I've spent over 3 of them as a teacher or in some teaching position in Relief Society. I LOVE to teach and am so grateful that I've been able to develop my talent a contribute to the work in this way.

Well . . . yesterday was my last time teaching! No, not ever, and fortunately, people tend to put RMs in front of the classroom more than not, so I expect to have many, many more years of service.

I taught lesson #45 from the "Teachings of Joseph Smith" book about how Joseph felt about his mission. It was beautifully written and culminated my feelings about studying the prophet's words this year.

I began with a question (as I tend to always do): What does it mean to know someone?

"Oh, I know her." or "I know my husband." We then preceded to make a lengthy list of what that could mean.

• You know their name


• You know their likes/dislikes


• You understand their perspective


• You know their history


• You know what they're feeling


• You know what they need


• You've spent time with them


• You've met them

Now, with the expectation of the last, do you know someone whom you've never met? One sister mentioned Christ. He loves, and in turn, knows us completely in return. Now what if we became to busy to spend time with Christ? Then the rest would fall away. We would know his feelings, his desires, or how to approach Him. In his way, we seem to know a lot about Joseph Smith. But do we really KNOW him as we must to have faith in the Christ of our salvation? This manual has given us the chance to really know Joseph. In his words.

In the end, I asked the sisters, "Who was Joseph Smith?" As we reviewed the list we had made about "knowing", there were answers of strong faith that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. That he loved children and cared individually about the saints. We have come to know this Joseph through our study of him this year.

And now, our challenge, is to introduce this "great, good man" to our friends.

As a side note, I would like to receive some feedback on my teaching. If you have heard me teach, I'd like to know what you thought was good, and and could be improved. Post a comment, or if you'd rather, email mrsdresses(at)gmail(dot)com. Thanks in advance.

Feedback from Seminary Teaching

I'm finally getting back to finishing posting about my seminary teaching experiences...
On the last day of my week teaching seminary in Smithfield Brother Griffin came to observe me.
After class was done, brother Griffin took a few minutes to talk to me about the lesson and how it went. Two things he said really stood out to me. First, he said that it wasn't an out-of-the-park lesson, but that it was good, solid teaching. That made me really happy. I had prepared a normal lesson, not doing something extra special just because I was going to be observed that day. I wanted him to see me teaching the way I would teach on any other day, and I think he did. When I was done teaching that day I felt that it had been representative of my teaching throughout the week, so him saying that it was 'good, solid teaching' makes me feel that I'm a good, solid teacher.
Second, he said "You have faith in the power of the word." That too makes me happy. I love the scriptures! I love that they teach us what we need to do to make it through the trials and temptations of mortality and return to our Father's presence. And I'm glad that the love I have for the scriptures showed in my teaching. It also taught me something about myself, I trust the power of the word of God to impact lives, so my first impulse when teaching is to turn to the scriptures, because I know they have the power to help anyone improve their situation.
At the end of the class the students were given a simple survey to fill out. Here are the compiled, un-edited results of the surveys:
(I think they speak for themselves, but let me just say that I was very pleased with, and humbled by, their comments about me; many of the good things they mentioned were things that I was trying to focus on in my teaching.) Click on the pictures to see a bigger version

A Believing Heart

I just finished reading 'The Believing Heart" by Bruce C. Hafen and I want to share a passage that really touched me, and that encompasses the theme of the book:

A few years ago, a university student related to his elders' quorum an event he had experienced just after being ordained a deacon in the Aaronic priesthood. He lived on a farm, and his father had promised him that an expected new calf would be his very own to raise. One summer morning when his parents were away, he was working in the barn when the pregnant cow began to calve prematurely. He watched in great amazement as the little calf was born, and then, without warning, the mother cow suddenly rolled over the calf. She was trying to kill it. In his heart he cried out to the Lord for help. Not thinking about how much more the cow weighed than he did, he pushed on her with all his strength and somehow moved her away.
He picked up the lifeless calf in his arms and, broken hearted, looked at it, the tears running down his cheeks. Then he remembered that he now held the priesthood, and he felt he had every right to pray for additional help. So he prayed from the depths of his boyish, believing heart. Before long the little animal began breathing again. The young deacon knew his prayed had been heard.
After he finished telling the story, the tears welled up in his eyes and he said, "Brethren, I shared that experience because I don't think I would do now what I did then. Now that I am older, less naive, and more experienced, I 'know better' than to expect help in that kind of situation. I am not sure I would believe now, even if Irelived that experience, that the calf's survival was anything more than a coincidence. I don't understand what has happened to me since that time, but I wonder if something is missing now.

I look at my life and the skeptical way I sometime approach things and wonder if I'm missing something too. And I think the answer is that I am. I think Megs bears the brunt of my skepticism and for this I am truly sorry. She is pure in heart, and has a believing heart, and shows me daily how to become more like Christ. I am striving to have a believing heart, to regain that which I lost. Sometimes I achieve it, like last year at work when the Lord blessed me with a little miracle. My prayer is that I will be able to approach every situation with simple, child-like faith, that I will at all times "doubt not, but be believing" (Mormon 9:27).

Pray for something he can give you...

At one point Bro. Griffin told us to make sure that we were praying for things that God could give us. He reminded us that if all 30 of us were praying that God would make us seminary teachers, God could not answer those prayers. Well he could he said (he has all power), but he won't answer that prayer for all of you.
That really opened my eyes and my heart. Up to that point I think I probably had been praying for his help to become a seminary teacher. Afterwards I was able to honestly look at what I wanted. I asked Him to help me do my best as I taught, that I could teach by the spirit and be a blessing in the lives of the students. That prayer was answered!!!

"More fit for the kingdom, more used would I be"

I mentioned in my last post that I was a little disappointed that I (most likely) will not get to student teach. I love teaching seminary and it would be impossible to not be sad that I won't get to spend my career in the class with amazing kids. But the main reason that I'm not too disappointed is that the focus of the class is not on becoming a seminary teacher. I know that might sound weird that the focus of a class called "Methods of seminary teaching" is not on becoming a seminary teacher...but the teacher, Brother Griffin, says from day one that the focus is on becoming more like the Master teacher. He quotes the hymn ‘More Holiness Give Me’:
“More fit for the kingdom, more used would I be, more blessed and holy, more, savior, like thee.”
These have, over the last few months, become some of my favorite verses. That was our focus in every class and every teaching experience! When the time came for 25 of us to find out that we would not be student teaching, we were not devastated but could look back thankfully on experiences that really have made us 'more fit for the kingdom', that have prepared us to serve wherever the Lord will send us.
I am so grateful that I took those classes and would encourage everyone to take them if they get the chance. No matter what position we hold in life we are teachers, and our goal in life is to become like the Master Teacher. I really do feel like the words of the hymn have been realized for me this semester, 'more fit for the kingdom...more savior like thee.'

The Body of Christ

The institute class I am taking right now is called 'Methods of Teaching Seminary', in preparation to become a seminary teacher (if I get to student teach, and then if I get hired...). To help us practice, instead of a devotional at the beginning of class, one of us teaches a 5 minutes lesson and then we get feedback from the class. I taught a while ago and it went really well, so I wanted to share the doctrine I taught. If you have time, read the following scriptures:
Eph 4:12-15, Eph 5:23, & 1 Cor 12:27.
We see that Christ is 'the Head', and that the church is the 'body of Christ', and that we as members of the church are also the body of Christ. But what does it mean to be "the Body of Christ"? Think about poeple with disabilities, or who have been in accidents...the head might still be giving out instructions, but some of the parts are no longer responding, for whatever reason. How frustrating would that be, to not have control of your hand, foot or eyes?
While you are thinking about that, listen to the song "If We are the Body" (number 4 on our playlist-below and to the right), and then read the conclusion.
I know that Christ is the head of the church, and the head of 'the body of Christ', of which we are 'members in particular'. I know that we have the opportunity to be His hands to lift up the weary, his feet to go after the lost sheep, and his voice to teach people that He is the way. I hope that we are not the hand or foot that is no longer responding to the directions from the head. I love what president Monson says (paraphrased): 'I try to live my life so that if the Lord needs an errand run, He knows that Tommy Monson will do it'. I pray that I can be that responsive to the Lord, that I can be his hands to reach and heal and lift and teach those around me.