We've been to an adoption workshop the last 2 days and have learned so much,
- Birth mothers are A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. We are so excited to meet and get to know ours.
- The spirits of our children might come through another woman's body, but they are ours nonetheless.
- We can afford the adoption expenses.
- There is a Family Home Evening group of "Couples in Waiting". Finally, a group of people that we can identify with and can understand us as a childless couple.
- Every adoption story is different, and a miracle in its own right.
- The phrase "putting up for adoption" applies more to us as a couple that we are putting ourselves out there to be selected. "placing for adoption" emphasizes the love and care of a birth mother and intentionally placing the life of her little one to give life to another family.
- Developing and maintaining a deep, personal, and open relationship with the birth mother is going to be my way of allowing the Savior to heal the pain of being childless and my fear of close relationships with others.
- That we need to be clear with our friends and family about the level of privacy that we desire as we invite their help in looking for our child.
- That we need to be clear about our willingness to continue a relationship with the birth mother after placement.
- That we can grieve for our years of infertility whether or not it will be a permanent (mortal) condition.
- It's OK to be me in completing our profile. I'm not perfect, but who I am is exactly what someone is out there looking for.
- It's OK to honestly and prayerfully narrow our presences to within our comfort level. No promises about the Lord's preferences.
- How to respond when your child plays the "you're not my 'real' parents" card. Also explaining adoption to your children.
Well said Meg! We are excited for you guys!
ReplyDeleteI hope it all goes well. I was adopted through LDS family services. I'm currently looking for my birth family. I just want to know my medical history.
ReplyDeleteMy brother and sister-in-law have two adopted daughters and are very good friends with both the birth parents of one and with the other birth mother. It was a little awkward for us (the extended family) at first with how open an adoption it was on both ends. The birth parents came to the baby blessing, came to the temple after the sealing and stayed to spend time with all the family their baby would grow up around. They have even visited their baby in Hawaii a few times.
ReplyDeleteI think it is wonderful to see how far the adoption process has come from years ago when birth parents and adopting parents didn't met, the birth parents had to give up all rights to ever even seeing their baby, and the adopting parents often didn't tell the child about the adoption - To now with open adoptions. Don't be afraid of open adoptions. Children won't have to wonder who their biological parents are or worry they weren't wanted. You can tell them how desperately they were wanted. Just think about how lucky that child is to have two sets of parents that love them dearly. Good luck to you both. You will have the opportunity to be parents someday because of the miracle of adoption.