Golf Digest: Life Lessons #1

I know this is going to sound weird. A few years ago I was waiting for something and really bored. So, I picked up a Golf Digest from the coffee table and started reading. I learned some great life lessons from its pages. I think you can find truth and direction anywhere-if it's a true principle in golf, then it's a true principle in other areas as well. I do not pretend to understand these articles at all, as I do not play golf, but I do love what they teach. This has been particularly interesting as I study more about birth and look back at Joshua's birth. The excerpts I am sharing today are from the January 2011 issue, by Gio Valliante & Guy Yocom.
My additions are in ( ), emphasis added.

How to be a great performer (mother, employee, etc)

1. See the positive in a setback. ...he asked himself, "what can I learn from this?" Matt thought he played too conservatively on Sunday, so he resolved to have a more aggressive mind-set. 3 weeks later he shot a final-round 69 and won. The positives are always there if you make the effort to find them.
2. Allow success to find you. ...Matt had nine top tens on the year, but no wins. The tendency here is to press. But we agreed that rather to make any changes he just needed to keep getting in position (be where you need to be, consistently trying to do the right things). Players often get impatient and make a ... change or or a shift in strategy, when all they need is perseverance. That's what Matt had and he got his win this week.
3. Don't think golf (life) owes you. ...he went on to lose...Camilo's reaction was interesting: "I made a lot of putts in the past week. Even great putters miss putts sometimes." (Do I let my failures define me, or who I am the majority of the time define me?) A week later he flew home to his home country of Columbia...he returned with a bounce in his step and a free stroke with the putter. He...won by five. The lesson: We are entitled to nothing in golf. Playing the game, with appreciation and in good health-those are gifts. That realization may have a major effect on you.
4. The game seneds messages. In 2009 Stuart finished 137th on the money list. His swing was good; more than anything, he seemed unmotivated. I thought the game was telling him he needed to rediscover his passion (you are where you are because you loved something about it, what was it? Can you find it again to find success?) We talked about it, and he responded, (do I get defensive when people close to me tell me they are seeing something I'm not?) working very hard...he wound up...to win at the Greenbrier. How did he celebrate (do I rest after an accomplishment or keep doing what made the difference?)? By playing 5 of the next 6 weeks. The game speaks to us and tells us why we're underpreforming. Listen up.
5. Play with a fearless edge. The Sunday before the Barclays in 2009, it looked like Heath was going to miss out on the FedEx Cup. When he just squeaked in, he felt like it was all a bonus and decided to play without fear, mind you, he didn't play reckless, but gone was the feeling of restraint. That freedom produced great results and a one-shot win over Tiger Woods. ( Similar to #4, feel the blessing of being where I am and the opportunity to try, let go of the feeling to achieve/preform for others)
6. Talk sense into bad shots. Disappointment over poor shots is something Heath has struggled with, He used to interpret anything less than prefect shot as a failure (does this ring true to anybody else?) When this happened, he played with no psychological freedom. (what would psychological freedom feel like? Learning from past mistakes so that you can let go of them and focus on present/future efforts?) Solution: After poor shots, Heath recently began saying aloud,"I accept the outcome of that shot." It doesn't mean he liked the shot, only that he was coming to terms with it.At the McGladrey Classic last fall, Heath was a master as letting go. He relaxed and won.
7. Score isn't the only measure (what's my scoreboard? Other people happy? Can't be, I can't control that. Perfect behavior for my kiddo? Ditto). When Arjun won the 2010 Wyndham Championship, he was ranked 450th in the world. 2 weeks before, he drove all night from West Virginia to New York to try to qualify for the Turning Stone event. Playing on an hour's sleep, he made it into the playoff but lost...his text reads, "I'm learning. And getting better, dude." (like in the movie "The Robinson's", you learn more from failure than you do from success) Point being, it often takes time for improvement to show up (on the scoreboard). You need patience (no kidding. Wouldn't it be great if we could learn that? Instead of judging ourselves/other on outcome, we used effort instead?). Arjun had it.
8. Be a peaceful warrior. When Justin tied for 4th in the '98 British Open at 17, his potential seemed limitless (ever been stuck with others having a great 1st impression of you, or you of others?) But the ensuing years were a mix of slumps and near misses (only to realize that it was a great day followed by a bad week or vice-versa). Justin and I agreed on a plan: He would do everything quietly (this sounds to me like no high-highs and therefore no low-lows, a seemingly boring, but calm/nice place to be) and in a calm spirit, never losing his inner peace because of something on or off the course. (In striving for inner peace, why give it up in an instant for others or an unrealistic standard you've set for yourself?) He was a peaceful warrior that week and shot 66 the last day for his first tour win-one of two in 2010. like Justin, strive for peace, and leave behind all that self-impsed pressure. (Did these guys know they were writing a motivation speech? What example can you share of a "peaceful warrior"?)
9. Rhythm will ease pressure (definitely a principle to be applied to labor). A few weeks after the Memorial, Justin staggered home...and missed out on another win. The next day I handed him a "Sunday Guide for Closing," (interesting it was to be done on a Sunday, the day we renew and start again fresh) which he was to take into next week. the plan had 3 elements: 1-Find the rhythm in your pre-shot routine (what preparation do I take before doing something I'm good at?); 2-Soften your grip pressure (am I holding onto something too tightly that actually isn't as important?); 3-think release to the target on full swings and release the blade with the putter (another obvious one fore birth, we so want to be in control, especially when there are other people involved, but the beauty and strength of labor is knowing when to release and let go for our body, for other's help and to God). These keys counter stress (oh yeeeeaahhh), which causes muscles to tighten (pain) and stops the flow of your swing (labor progress). Justin turned it around and won again that week, looking relaxed all the way. (Seriously, theses guys could be awesome labor coaches! Sorry, back to life lessons)
10. Make a mental  to-do list. D.J. got off to a so-so start on the Nationwide Tour in 2010. He thought his mindset needed work, so he went back to an old checklist we'd made. It contained keys like going "all in" (WAC anyone?) on every shot and showing up on the first tee with good rhythm rather than trying to find it ("Start your day off right" comes to mind, remembering to get up with the alarm, eat a good breakfast and start with prayer/scripture study to begin right rather that just 'hoping' through the day). D.J. won...after dusting off that list. Of course, every golfer's list will vary, but the point is to make one. It'll give you a frame of reference and clarity of purpose (what do I need to get done today? Love God, love my husband, my baby, my neighbor, and laundry/dinner/blogging will just be a bonus).

I hope you can find your own interpretations in this and feel free to share them.

Top Nine

I had a friend ask me for my list of must-haves for baby so I thought I'd share it here.

1.  Place to sleep. We love our bassinet that we had in our room for the first month, then moved to the closet. If you're not nursing and getting up to make a bottle anyway, I would put the baby in her own room after the first week or so. J is just starting to get too big for his bassinet at 13 lbs./3mos. We'll get him into the crib next month.
  2.  Burp rags. A couple dozen, a stack for each room. (Ethan-It seems like we got a lot, but unless you pin them to yourself they often get left behind when you move and then you don't have one when you need it, unless you have a lot and spread them around)
  3. Wipes- We got some soft washcloths and use them with warm water (E-it's less abrasive/startling, especially at first when we'd use a cold wipe he could cry, but he was fine with a warm cloth). Also, their first few bowel movements are pretty sticky, so it's easier to clean up with the washcloth than wipes.
  4.  baby shampoo/soap. Johnson's foaming soap pump (or one from Bath & Body Works) uses like 1 T. of soap and the rest with water so it lasts forever and is gentler on baby's skin. I also use this with my washcloth wipes. The pump makes it very convenient.
  5.  waterproof pads-we do most of our changing/feeding on our bed so one around to put over the sheet and one permanently under
  6.  couple changes of sheets for baby's bed- same as above. can layer pad/sheet/pad/sheet for quick night changes if bed gets wet.
  7.  Boppy-even if you're bottle-feeding. i use mine with this<http://www.pillowspillows.com/images/bed%20rest.jpg> kind of pillow. It really helps my back from getting sore while feeding/rocking/holding baby. I also have one Boppy upstairs for my bed and one downstairs on the couch. That way I can feed easily wherever I am.
  8.  swaddling blankets
  9.  Baby carrier - Wraps are perfect for tiny babies because they're very protective/supportive and hold the baby close to your body (e.g. Moby or Sleepywrap. E- or Megan can make you one) E-now that he's a little bigger I prefer the Snugli because it's more open and easier to get on/off (and it was cheap). I like having the carriers because if I need to be doing stuff, I can, but still have him close and take care of him. E-I actually wore him to work in the Snugli for a couple hours when Meg had something and he slept the whole time, even though I was moving and talking to people.

Hospital Visit

37 Weeks, 1 day

Last night was hard. Hard for me, my body, and the baby. Only not hard for Ethan. He's so optimistic sometimes it drives me crazy. But, in reality it kept me from going crazy.
 I had my appointment with my midwife in the early afternoon, after working a shift at Baby Animal Days (so fun). Last Thursday, we found that baby's head was engaged and I was dilated to a 4 (4 cm). So I rested over the weekend, but got busy Monday and Tuesday to get ready!
Tuesday's check was to see if there had been any progress. Not much, she just wanted to make sure that my water hadn't broken (a slow leak actually) and sent me to a family practitioner in town. A very, very good man, highly recommended, especially for natural birthing. Well, he did a few other checks and wasn't sure either, so he sent me to Labor & Delivery for a "Labor Evaluation".
Whaa?
When E got off work, we met up and I finally realized that this could be it. I knew my body wasn't ready (does a woman's own intuition count in medical/hormonal situations such as these?), but I was about to be 'put into the system'. Everything I didn't want and hadn't prepared for.  I was grateful for my 2 care providers working together to help me, I was just angry at the situation and my own un-preparedness for it.
Well, we got checked in and immediately hooked up to the monitors. Ugh. I now have personal experience and thus a personal hatred for the things. Laying reclined put serious pressure on my back that I've been working to avoid the last 6 months. Plus it cause me personal anxiety over my and my baby's condition. Not to mention the frenzied and brisk nurses...

But the Lord was watching over us. We were put in a room with huge windows looking out over the East mountains of North Logan. That was the view I had growing up, and most of my life since, and that helped me feel much more comfortable. About an hour later, the Elder's Quorum from our ward came to visit patients so we called them in and had a quick chat, them assisting E in giving me a Priesthood blessing. So nice to see someone we knew. The last tender mercy was our kind nurse. We met a few others and were v-e-r-y glad to have her. She was tentative and open, and asked my  permission before doing anything. The general tone in L&D was wary as they found out we we 'a home birth' (How does that describe us??). So I appreciated her demeanor so much.

Birth balls are awesome!

What we learned from this experience:

• Take a book/movie. We were there for 4 hours. The actual work done could have been done in under as hour.
• Move around as much as you can/desire. There is no reason you need to lay in the bed unless you want to, you are being checked, or you're on the monitor. That last one is even negotiable.
• Have a 'birth plan'. This does not need to be complicated. Even just 3 things you want and 3 things you don't. They ask you about it as you're getting settled so you can be on the same page from the very beginning.
• The rooms were not so bad, nor the husband snack parlor. Doesn't mean I could handle a birth there. Yes, honestly. People think we're brave for doing a home birth. The hospital scares us more.

On a brighter note, we had a quick ultrasound to check some things and saw a cute little face and a head of fine hair! The tech gave us the estimated weight at 6lbs, 15 oz., but still no gender. Everything turned out to be fine, and we got to come home. E was a great support and we are (ultimately) grateful for this 'practice run' for birthing.
Song #1 "Held" on the playlist will be the theme for today's post. Afterall, how can Christ be our 'Savior' if we never need 'saving'?

Power Outage Tips

I didn't know where else to share this. There are several good ideas that I'm going to use.

When Is the Power Coming Back On?
by Pamela Parks
Being prepared for a power outage
 
Ah, the beauty of winter! The snow gently falling, the crisp
chill in the air, the frequent power outages... We get a lot
out here. The worst was a windstorm that left our metro-region
looking like a war zone, with downed power lines and no power
for eight days. Ever since then, I've been prepared for the
next "Big One," although thankfully our power outages only
average four hours. But those four hours can be mighty
irritating, if I am just preparing dinner and the kids are
hungry. It gets worse once the kids get bored. You know what
it's like to be on a long car trip with the kids chanting,
"Are we there yet?" It's worse when they ask, "When will the
power come on?" Much worse.
 
The first thing to think about is food. I cook everything from
scratch, but that is hard to do when you have no power. So I
keep an "emergency box" in the pantry filled with all the
convenience junk foods I wouldn't normally buy like cereal,
toaster pastries, and crackers. A few things we can heat on
the woodstove, such as canned pasta, canned soup, instant
oatmeal, and ramen. The junk food is a treat to my kids, who
never get to eat it otherwise, so there is less complaining
about the power outage and more celebrating. The junk food is,
of course, only purchased on sale and never eaten unless the
power is out. "I'm too tired to cook" days don't count!
 
The worst thing you can do to your food is to open your
upright refrigerator. All the cold air spills out.
Fortunately, I have a chest-style deep freeze. I went through
my "Once-a-Month Cooking" cookbook
<http://www.stretcher.com/r/672.htm> and selected things that
would be easy to reheat on the outdoor barbecue grill. I have
those dishes in a wire pull-box in the freezer. I yank the
entire basket out and slam the door, hoping the least bit of
cold air leaks out. Then the basket gets transferred to a
camping cooler. If the power returns before I cook every
dinner, oh well, I cook them normally. Don't re-freeze
something that's started to thaw.
 
No matter how cold it is outside, never move your grill
indoors! The carbon monoxide build up is undetectable until it
reaches lethal levels.
 
For light, we have sconces at strategic spots around the
house. (We made them by sawing a shelf into 5" lengths, and
drilling a hole sized to hold a tea light glass.) IKEA sells
100 tea lights for about $4, which is a lot of light for very
little cash. If you don't want sconces, at least plan ahead
where to place your candles, so that you can light them
quickly.
 
After food and light, the next big challenge is keeping the
kids entertained.  I'm trying desperately to run a paperless
house (ha ha), and I made the mistake one time of having all
the interesting craft projects on the computer. That's not
much help during a power outage. Now I keep a three-ring
binder on the bookshelf. It has craft projects, sewing and
knitting patterns, a list of radio stations (because who can
remember all of them?), and ideas for games to play. The kids
love the drama games that I stole from British Television show
"Whose Line is it Anyway?" and the list of "200+ Ideas For
Summertime Fun"
<http://www.stretcher.com/stories/03/03jul21h.cfm> that I
copied off of The Dollar Stretcher site. Also good are those
classic car games such as I Spy and 20 Questions.
 
My binder also has a "menu" for meal ideas and recipes for
things that are easy to do on the grill, such as Powwow bread,
camp bread, quick fried taters, refried beans, etc.
 
In the pantry box, snuggled among the junk food, we keep other
items so that everything is together. We keep a few book
lights, the kind you clip to your book so that you can read in
the dark, a battery-powered radio, and a packet of glow sticks
I got on sale at the dollar store after the 4th of July. The
kids love putting them on and dancing around when it gets
dark. Most important of all is a cheap flashlight for each
child. That changes the darkness into an adventure.
 
One of the most important things I have in the folder is the
phone number for the power company. They have a saying, "We
don't know until you call." They take power outages very
seriously, and their emergency line tells me what number
person I am to report the outage, if they know what caused it,
and if they have an estimated time of repair. After the big
windstorm of several years ago, we could see how hard the
utility workers were doing their job. 

P.S. from Megan-always keep a pair of shoes and flashlight at your bed, because disasters are most likely to occur at night and you need those 2 things! 

Dyeing your hair at home

Note: I just noticed that 1/2 of the "happy girl" post was missing! Just fixed. Enjoy.
I've done this for several years and have never had trouble with it, so I thought I'd share my process if anyone cares.

1. When purchasing, first look at what price range you're comfortable with. Remember, a cut and color at a salon can range from $40-100 (in CV) so you're getting a deal on whatever you can find at the grocery store. Obviously, the higher-priced brands have more natural tones in them, are (usually) kinder to your hair, and will last longer. But, not all brands carry all shades. That said, I buy what's on sale and I have a coupon for. 
2. You're going to buy 2 bottles: One to match your hair exactly (this will help the new color blend in naturally) and the target color. If you have VERY light blond hair go one shade closer to your own. If you follow my advice, don't even worry about the "color chart" on the side. This is what they do at the salon and don't tell you. Plus you'll have your 2nd application all ready! Check if it's permanent or wash out. Buy your preference.

• Nice'n Easy by Clairol is my current favorite. Moderate price range and great features.Clairol has several types out there and this is probably their least expensive. Nice'n Easy has "Color-blend technology" which could be a gimmick, but I think it gives my hair very subtle and very natural variation. It also includes a bottle of color sealer/conditioner-enough for the six weeks between colorings. I often buy it separately because I like the smell of it and feel of my hair. Also, Nice'n Easy is not smelly at all, and the least itchy of all I've tried. 

 3. I buy a drop cloth from the dollar store when I do this. Remember these beauties? Well, I will NOT allow them to be adulterated.

4. Read your directions completely first. Wear an old BUTTON-UP shirt, not a t-shirt you'll have to pull over your head. When you mix up your color with the activator, just mix 1/2 of your color, and 1/2 of the target color. Then put the 1/2 full bottles in the box for next time. Make sense? P.S. I have never done the allergy nor the hair sample test, and have never had a problem (but I do have a little problem with patience), but you may want to. Oh, and start with dry, brushable hair. For me, that's 2 days after straightening mine. Only 1 kind I've bought had me start with wet hair.

5. Make sure you have everything set up that you'll need. You can't leave for about 30 min, so have it on the counter next to you. Grab a few hair clips (the dye just washes off mine), a comb, a dark towel/wash cloth, some cheap shampoo. The towel and shampoo are for wiping up splatters and streaks on your skin. The sooner you do it, the easier it will come off. You can put Vaseline on your ears and around the hairline if you wish. Again, I'm not so patient.

6. Put the gloves on and go to town! Don't be afraid of glooping it on. I have moderately long hair and I struggle with using the whole bottle. But do. At a salon, they'll often comb the goop into your hair, but I haven't experienced anything so painful and thusly refuse to so that at home. Again, I think being not-so-thorough yields a more natural product. On your 2nd time, just be sure to get your roots covered.

7. After reaching the time in the instructions, get in the shower and wash it out. I do use a little mild shampoo to help the goop get all the way out. Rinse until the water runs clear. Then condition if it came with some, or use your own.

8. After showering, I give my hair a quick trim in the sink. I find that with the combination of hair products that I use, I can often for months in between colorings. 

Please let me know if you have any questions and good luck!!